The Paris of America

Brand New Stuff

A Doctor Who Recap/Picspam

Episode: 01 Season: 05
Title: The Eleventh Hour
Summary: You can bring a Pond to the ducks, but you can't make them exist.

Well, hello, Earth! Fancy meeting you in a season premier of Doctor Who. I wonder where the TARDIS is going to be landing this time? Hmmmmmm....It's a mystery!

Okay. So maybe "Landing" is a bit of a strong term as it seems the TARDIS is exploding at the moment.

So, where is the Doctor in all of this? Of course he is.

Now the TARDIS is hurdling towards that one Clock.

He sonics the console and narrowly manages to avoid the spire atop the tower. Whew!

Back in the TARDIS! All safe and Sound. Y'know, except for the part where it's still all explody, and hurtling willy-nilly through time and space.

Oh No! New credits? New Logo? That's it. The Moff has destroyed my youth! Whaaaaaa! I'm never watching Who again! (Except my youth in regards to Dr. Who consists of Cheetah People on PBS, and that was only impressive because...what the hell? They're people, who are CHEETAHS!)

A pinwheel twirls in the breeze. A portent to certain doom, I'm sure.

A swing slowly creaking back and forth with no child sat upon it, creepy background music. Yep. Certain doom.

We meet young Amelia Pond, who is praying to Santa, naturally. I mean, who else are you going to pray to on Easter? I can't think of anybody. Amelia is pretty awesome already.

So, what's happening with Amelia that has got her praying to Santa? She's got this sick crack in her wall. Her Aunt says it's just an ordinary crack, which apparently isn't worth fixing, but Amelia knows better. There are voices coming out of that crack.

She want Santa to send someone to fix it, like a policeman, or something that she can't think of right now that is about to crash-land in her garden in 3...2...1...

Awww, poor TARDIS!

Amelia thanks Santa and goes to investigate, because that's what you do when a Police Box falls out of the sky.

So the doors to the TARDIS are flung open in dramatic fashion and a grappling hook emerges. It almost takes out Amelia, but she stands her ground.

The Doctor pops out of the TARDIS. Hey, Doctor! He wants an apple.

Amelia's in awe at first, but then she's just like: 'Why does this man keep talking about apples? Weirdo.'

Turns out the Doctor is just having a craving for apples, which is a new thing in this new body. Amelia asks if he's okay, because he's looking a bit frazzled. He just had a bit of a tumble in the library. Also, there is a pool in the library, which is why he's all wet.

Amelia's all 'whatever dude' and asks him if he's the police or what.

The Doctor's curious as to why this girl would need some police, and he's even more curious about the crack in the wall.

He's still suffering form New Doctor Pangs, and falls of the TARDIS at this point. Amelia's quite concerned, but he assures her that everything is just fine. It's all perfectly normal to be writhing in pain and spitting up golden energies.

She asks who he is exactly, and he doesn't quite know yet. Still working on it.

He asks if she's scared but she's not at all. She just thinks he's a big weirdo.

Alas, he's talking about the crack. Is she scared of the crack? Of course she is! You don't pray to Santa about the good kind of crack. That's what Dr. Drew is for.

Well, then, off we go! There are only three rules to be on this crack investigation team: Do Everything He Says. Don't Ask Stupid Questions, and don't wander off.

And Look out for trees. The Doctor marches forward and promptly does his best George of the Jungle impression.

Once inside, Amelia starts with what I would like to call a pretty reasonable question, so I don't think it violates rule #2.

If the Doctor is a Doctor...why does his box say Police? This is like one of those imponderables, or Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?

The Doctor ignores this. He's on a mission to find some apples, which Amelia handily provides and he promptly spits out. Apples are rubbish!

Yogurt? That ends up on the floor too. It's just stuff with bits in it. Seems the Doctor is getting used to some brand new taste buds. Yogurt and Apples are out. Apple Yogurt is definitely not happening.

Amelia is skeptical about this guy and wonders what the heck is wrong with him. He blames her for the lack of decent food. "You're Scottish, Fry something!" Quoted for posterity because it made me laugh out loud.

OMG! BACON! The most glorious food on the planet!

Not for this Doctor. Not even delicious bacon can ease this craving.

Baked Beans? Beans are EVIL! (I concur fully) Don't look so horrified, Amy, at least he spit it in the sink this time instead of the floor.

Begone, Bread and Butter! You and the plate you rode in on!

The Doctor visits the fridge himself because it seems he's figured out exactly what he needs to chow down on before we can move on with this episode...

Fish fingers and custard! Yum. So, is this like, a thing, or a callback to the old series, or...just as gross as I think it sounds?

Amelia has settled on a far more tasty nighttime snack...Ice Cream, a big old scoop at a time. She thinks he's funny. He approves of this personality trait, and also Amelia's name.

Here's Amelia's story:

She has no parents and she lives with an Aunt, who ignores cracks, and leaves this girl alone in a big creaky house in some town in England, which is rubbish.

As for the Doctor here, he comments on Amelia's bravery in the face of being left alone in a house only to be confronted by this weirdo in a police box who is now stuffing his face with fish custard in her kitchen. That crack must be a million times scarier if she's going to put up with help from this guy.

All this talk about cracks, so now lets go investigate! The Doctor rambles on about cracks in walls sometimes spitting out cowboys, which is all well and good depending on what kind of cowboy pops out, I suppose. If it's the sexy, shirtless kind: sign me up!

Amelia is unconcerned with cowboys, sexy or otherwise. She's still interested in the apples. It turns out that she used to hate them too, but her mum would peel faces in them to sweet the deal.

Just what I'd want to entice me into eating something. Give it a FACE.

He thinks Amelia's mum sounds like an A+ lady, and he saves the apple for later even though he doesn't like them.

As for Cracky McCrackerson... Oh, it's nothin' much, just your average rip in the skin of the world. It's not even in the wall really, the wall just happens to be on top of it, so this neglectful aunt lady couldn't have patched it up anyway.

The Doctor asks if there are voices coming out of this crack. Amy confirms it, so he finds an auditory enhancement device on her nightstand. It's full of water, so he just flings it out over his shoulder. Oops.

What is with this dude?

So, what do these voices have to say? Prisoner 0 has escaped. Ooo, Ominous! And Amelia has been hearing this creepiness since she moved in probably. No wonder she trusts this Doctor fellow.

What does this mean, Amelia wants to know. Well, it pretty much means exactly what it sounds like. There's a prison on the other side and prisoner 0 has escaped. I can see where this is heading.

In any case, the Doctor's brilliant idea right now is to open the crack all the way, then it will somehow fix itself.

That sounds reasonable if not for the other option presented:

Remember that certain doom I was talking about earlier? Yeah. It could do that instead. I like that the Doctor doesn't lie here and tell her everything is going to be fine and dandy.

What's the best way to go about opening/shutting cracks in space and time? Who would have ever thought! Some things never change!

The Doctor plays a game of 'Can You Hear Me Now?' with the crack and shouts Hello at it a bunch of times like it's a mobile with bad reception. Finally he gets a response...

Holy Santa Clause! It's a gigantorous eyeball!

Amelia wants to know what the deuce that thing is, because giant alien eyeballs are certainly not what you expect to come out of a crack in your wall. Cockroaches maybe, small rodents, perhaps, but not eyeballs.

It shoots some flare of light at the Doctor's hip and he goes down.

Amelia's less concerned with the Doctor's health and well being than she is with the crazy business behind her wall. What was that thing? Was it prisoner 0? The Doctor is just pleased that his plan somehow worked and the crack is now gone.

Well, as it turns out, the lens flare wasn't dangerous, it was a psychic message that can now be read on the Doctor's psychic paper.

"Prisoner 0 has escaped."

Well, they have been shouting it through the wall for ages, so I guess that's why the eyeballs decided to send it psychically this time since these humans are thick and don't seem to get that the prisoner has escaped through the crack into Amelia's house.

The Doctor doesn't think that's possible, since surely Amelia or her Aunt might have noticed an alien beast rampaging through their home at some point.

The Doctor runs out into the hallway wondering what he missed. *Spoiler* It's behind the door on the right; a door that can't normally be seen because...well, we'll explain that later, because the TARDIS is about to take off without him, so he has to run now!

The Doctor scampers back to the yard spewing technobabble about the TARDIS at Amelia. I guess it's rebuilding itself since the crash, and it has to be stabilized.

Amelia wants to know how a box has engines. Smart girl. I like her!

SO, the Doctor tells her it's a Time Machine, and she doesn't really believe him at first, but she wants to give it a try anyway. (Y'know, since her Aunt, whoever she is, seems to be kind of terrible, and England is rubbish. Why not?)

It's too dangerous right now and he says to give him five minutes so he can jump into the future. Amelia gets depressed and is all like - everybody leaves in the end. - *Sadface*

But he says to trust him, he's the Doctor! Amelia is pleased with this response, and takes him for his word. SO, he "Geronimos" into the TARDIS and splashes down in the library/pool.

Who wants to take bets on how successful the new TARDIS is going to be at navigating to the exact point in time the Doctor wants to go back to?

Which is why it was so sad that Amelia ran to pack her bag straight away, and was left sitting all alone out in the cold English night waiting for the Doctor to come back.

Well, that was a long five minutes, because, not only have we had a close up of a ticking clock, but also, it is daytime now. The Doctor doesn't notice because he has figured the whole thing out and there is imminent danger for our little Amelia. IMMINENT!

Let's have this shot of the Doctor who is manically shouting at the previously invisible door that Prisoner 0 is there. Hmmm, it's almost as if he's being watched by some unseen entity.

It's not long before our Doctor is thwacked in the head by what appears to be a cricket bat. See. Cricket bats are not a strange and mysterious thing to keep around one's house.

We cut to a shot of an ambulance, but it's not heading for any poor concussed Gallifreyans. It's heading to here where we have this guy explaining to a disbelieving Doctor that all the coma patients are shouting at him simultaneously.

Clearly she does not believe this and reiterates that these are comatose patients and he is wasting her valuable time in a very loud and impatient angry voice. C'mon, now, lady! Be nice to Rain Man, he's only saying what he heard, and clearly he knows he sounds like he belongs in a mental ward.

(That was mean! I only say that because he totally gives me Dustin Hoffman vibes!)

He probably would have kept that little nugget of insanity to himself if these sick people hadn't been calling for her.

She wonders in an annoyed kind of bitchy way why they were asking all calling out for her.

Well, if you were a nurse, or whatever he is, and a bunch of sick people were calling out for a DOCTOR, what would you do? (Risk their lives or risk looking like a fool?)

Yeah, believe him now that the entire ward is calling out for a doctor. In your face!

Meanwhile the Doctor is wakening to find he has been restrained...

By a redheaded PC in pretty impractical miniskirt.

She has back-up on the way so they banter back and forth about the Doctor and his breaking and entering, until he asks after Amelia. This stops her cold.

Well, the Doctor is very concerned about Amelia...since the TARDIS is late and all. The Policewoman informs him that Amelia don't live here no more.

She blurts out that it's been six months.

The Doctor is suitably distressed at this news since he promised five minutes to a sad and lonely little girl. 6 months is a long time.

I have to say this completely anonymous red headed Scottish police lady that we totally have never seen before, is doing a good job of making it seem like something horrible has gone wrong in Miss. Amelia Pond's life.

We close up on the mysterious door of mystery, and then the screen fades into a picture of a cute little Rottweiler who belongs to one of the coma patients in the crazytown ward.

Oh, no. Look who it is!

Turns out the chatty coma patients aren't the only thing that has this guy concerned.

She has no time for these shenanigans! We learn our poor beleaguered nurse's name. Yes, he is a nurse, and his name is Rory, and he gets no props for being right about these people speaking. No. No props. In fact, Dr. Bitchface here doesn't even think he's that great of a nurse. He's just "Good Enough."

As for the other thing...well, she doesn't even let him plead his case. She just suggests he goes off and takes a vacation for the good of his mental health, and so she can go back to her very important biz.

While she's once again yelling at him about how coma patients are in a coma and they can't be seen elsewhere because they are under surveillance (Just like how coma patients can't chant for a Doctor either.) Rory pulls out his phone and just thrusts it awkwardly at her across coma guy's bed without any explanation, because he couldn't get one in edgewise anyway with her yelling at him.

She doesn't like this and just demands to know why, God! Why? is he giving her his phone.

Well, you see, it is also a camera, like most phones this day and age. It's a camera with things like proof of walking coma patients: proof that Rory is in fact, NOT, insane in the membrane.

Too bad the good Doc has just gotten a very inconvenient page.

This page, doesn't inspire her to run off to another area of the hospital to help a dying patient and continue this conversation later.

No, she's far too busy for that. She's just going to send Rory on a long vacation. RIGHT NOW! Raaaawrrrr, go away, you, and your rightness. I'm too busy for you!

Rory is wearing the appropriate expression for this almost firing. I had a similar one. Especially considering the proof is right in his hand, and Dr. Busy Bee here couldn't even glance down at it for a micro second.

He doesn't stick up for himself anymore, because it seems useless at this point. He just makes some frustrated gestures, like he wants to scream out loud and throw the phone right at this woman's head, but he knows that would be a horrible idea. Instead he shuffles away in defeat.

Back at the former Pond residence, the Doctor is still chained to a radiator, wondering what has gone wrong wit this adventure. He's a little disbelieving when the police woman says she lives there now.

She's all defensive about it, because law enforcement has got to live somewhere, don't they?

Well, now. He's got to do something about this predicament he's gotten himself into so he asks Totally Anonymous PC here to count the rooms. She does, but she does it without looking and he's all...Guess Again!

It's that pesky corner of the eye business. He keeps saying something is there, so she looks and...

DUN...DUN....DUNN! Of course, to us it has always been there, but none of the characters could see it because a perception filter is around it.

Anonypc is reasonably astounded by this magically appearing room.

While the Doctor is chained up and explaining that there is something dangerous hiding there and stay away why don't you? The girl is inching her way towards the door, and the more he says to stay away the more in the room she's going to go, obviously.

The Doctor is wailing around in impotent frustration as she just goes ahead and goes in the secret room of dangerous danger and he wonders if it isn't just his face that makes people never listen to him.

He doesn't even have is screwdriver to help him out of this jam!

AS for our very brave, and possibly stupid police lady here, she thinks the room is empty. The Doctor explains that if the scary big bad could hide the entire room...why would it not be able to just hide itself?

Well, what have we here? It's the sonic screw driver...looking rather gooier than usual. The Doctor thinks it must have rolled under the door, Anonypc agrees even though that's clearly not the case. Unless the Sonic Screwdriver has acquired some magical hopping-gooiefying skillz since we last saw it.

She voices this concern about it jumping up on the table, and the Doctor is noticeably horrified, because he can't do anything to save her stubborn ass since she's cuffed him to a radiator and lost the key. The best he can do is yell at her to get the hell out of there already.

She goes for the screwdriver, but does she run away once it's in her hand? Nahhhh. What's the fun in that? She hangs around for another look-around, and finally this creepy space eel thing decides to show its ugly face.

The Doctor instructs her not to try and look at it under any circumstances, so what does she do? She tries to look for it, and there it is! Happy now?

She runs screaming from the room at last.

He locks the door with the sonic screwdriver from afar then works on the handcuffs. Poor screwdriver seems to be on the fritz. Anonypc wonders if the door will hold. The Doctor is still not lying to her when he says that it can't, but he's much more sarcastic about it this time. He gets this deserved look for his trouble.

If you're wondering this alien is what we call an inter-dimensional multiform.

The Doctor tells her not to worry and just run since she called for back up and everything. Well, turns out, not so much. She's not a real police woman, she's a kiss-o-gram. She whips off her hat and let's the red locks flow down to illustrate the point.

The Doctor is confused.

But there is no time for confusion when there's a...a man and his dog! (A Familiar Man and a Familiar Dog.)

Kiss-O-Gram is confused, and much less scared of this incarnation.

Oh, but you see, Eel monster has disguised itself as two things in one. That's how multi-forms roll. Unfortunately this one isn't too good with getting the voice boxes right, and instead of speaking, the dude growls and barks like the Rottweiler at his side instead.

The Doctor muses upon how Multi-eel (Multeel? Eelmu?) has managed to become this thing since it needs a psychic link to an actual thing to become the thing. It takes years to do this apparently.

Just in case you weren't getting it.

Multeel shows its teeth! Eeew!

The Doctor tries to hold of the thing by telling it that Kiss-O-Gram has called for back-up, but she helpfully cries out that no, she has not actually. Since she's a fake cop and everything. The Doctor's all, 'thanks for ruining my clever ruse.'

The revised plan is to somehow convince this terrifying creature (That was once in jail, mind) that they alone are no threat, so they can be let go. Now, if there were back up that is when they'd need killing.

This is the point at which back-up arrives.

In the form of a booming voice from the heavens, calling out prisoner 0 and saying that the human residence has been surrounded. Goodie! OH, wait. The episode is only half over.

Well, P-Zero goes to check this biz out at the window. The booming voice is promising incineration of the human residence if the Priz doesn't give itself up.

Meanwhile, the Doctor works on getting his screwdriver to work so he can unlock himself, and once he does, he finally manages to get the girl moving before the house get's all burnt to a charcoaly crisp.

The Doctor chooses this moment to question why a Kiss-O-Gram would dress up like a cop. Easy explanation for that...her other costume is a French maid, and that doesn't exactly strike fear in the hearts of would be robbers.

The TARDIS is still rebuilding and isn't going to let them in at this time, conveniently. Multeel barks at them from the window out of both face holes.

Since the Doctor is often distracted by shiny things whilst saving the world, he notices that the shed he crashed down on six months ago is all rebuilt now.

He tastes it to gauge how old it is. Hmmmm. How old is it?

It's twelve years old. Kiss-O-Gram does not want to discuss this right now with a Dog-Man-Eel-Monster hot on their trail and her house about to be blown to kingdom come, but the Doctor insists on knowing why she said six months.

Finally she screams at him to tell her why he said five minutes.


The Doctor can't believe this shit.

They argue up a hill. He: Why didn't you tell me? You hit me with a bat! She: You're twelve years late and they made me see four shrinks! 4 shrinks who didn't believe me so I took a bite out of them.

Rawrrrr. Don't mess with Amelia!

Oh! But wait just a tick, before we get too far into this debate, guys. Why is the message for Pzero blaring out of this ice cream man's truck? And why can't he get it out?

That shiz is pumping out of every available speaker in the area! The Doctor jets off to the nearest house and Amelia follows right behind him.

Inside the alien eyeball from earlier has hijacked the TV. It's on every channel. Watching your every move, like a Hall and Oates song.

And also, this poor lady who is confused by Amelia's many and varied kiss-o-gram outfits. She's been a nurse, a nun... A NUN? So there are dudes in this village that fantasize about nuns coming around to make out with them at parties? Does the nun costume have as short a skirt as the cop costume? These are important questions!

The Doctor isn't concerned about that. He's a bit put out that she goes by Amy now instead of Amelia. She tells him that it's a big 'fairy tale' which is a direct dig at him since that was why he said he liked it back when she was a wee little child.

Oh. Snap.

The cute old lady says that he looks familiar but he doesn't think it's possible. He's only had the face for not too long so far.

Well, now, Doctor, you may not have traveled far with it, but there's one poor girl who has been stuck waiting for that goofy mug for twelve years standing right next to you.

At this point he needs what a Kiss-O-Gram is to be explained to him and once it is, he gets all Daddly on Amy, complete with disapproving dad voice and everything. Amy declares him worse than her aunt...

Who isn't this sweet old lady. I knew she was too nice to be Amy's aunt!

The Doctor says he's worse than everybody's aunt <---quoted for LOLs.

He sonics the radio and it suddenly is able to pick up every radio station that exists on Earth, and they're all broadcasting the message for P-Zero in every language.

The Doctor pops his head out for a look-see then starts babbling in a seeming incoherent way about something we Earthbound humans have no idea about.

Then this happens. The Doctor consults the random beefcake that just walked in the door and declares that they have twenty minutes.

The Doctor heads back to Amy and her friend, but it seems that Beefcake has got his number right away and has him pegged as the Doctor.

Well, he just got a close enough look, so...

The Old lady gets all giddy at this now that she remembers, and starts causing all kinds of awkward embarrassment as old ladies are wont to do.

Seems Amy used to draw cartoon adventures and she called him the "Raggedy Doctor" Also, we learn that Beefcake's name is Jeff.

Amy's had enough discussion of her childhood antics, and asks again what twenty minutes is for.

Well, that's the time it will take for the spaceship hiding up above to blow up the Earth, because by "human residence" the aliens don't mean Amy's house specifically, but rather The ENTIRE PLANET.

Right, so is Zaphod Beeblebrox in charge of this prison, or what?

We zoom in on the eyeball in the TV and zoom out to reveal the entire fleet of space-faring eyeballs hovering just above the Earth's atmosphere!

So the Doctor and Amy are off to save the world! He takes stock of what he has to work with in this tiny English town...which is nothing basically, except a shut post office and duck pond with no ducks. He's especially interested in this pond.

He gets some more Doctor pangs and almost tumbles back into the duckless pond. Then something blots out the sun. It's a force field.

And the Human race takes pictures of their imminent doom with their camera phones. That is how we roll.

But the Doctor has seen something amiss in his own big eye!

It's our good friend Rory, and he's not interested in flaming suns or anything exciting up in the sky.

He's more interested in taking pictures of erstwhile coma patients roaming around with their dogs in the interest of getting his job back and proving his sanity.

He gives her two options: Say goodbye to your loved ones, or come with me and save the world! Wheee!

She chooses the option where she slams his tie in a car door and interrogates him about who the heck he really is.

This old man is just bamboozled by his car keys being stolen but Amy just shews him away.

So, Amy wants proof he really is who he says he is? Well, he's still carrying Mr. Happy Apple and it's fresh as the day Amy carved into technically, he was only gone for five minutes.

Amy lets him go, and the Doctor jets off and grabs Rory's phone.

The Doctor questions him loudly, and Rory is at a loss, because who is this strange man? And this isn't the first time he's been shouted out today.

He's glad to see a friendly face though. Amy introduces him as a "Friend". He seems to think that she's his girlfriend. Ooooooo.


Rory needs a hug today. I volunteer!

So, the Doctor wants to know why he's taking pictures of some dude and his dog, but Rory is too busy recognizing him as the "Raggedy Doctor" and embarrassing Amy some more.

The Doctor is impatient with this so he just gets all up in Rory's face until he explains the story of the walking coma guy.

He pokes Rory in the head when he explains how Multeel needs a dormant mind to transform.

P-Zero will not be ignored! *woof*woof*!!!

Rory is amazed that not only is there a real Raggedy Doctor, but also there is a real prisoner zero. He shouldn't be so incredulous. I'd say he knows a thing or two about people not believing in stuff.

Too bad the floating eyeball spaceship shows up to add some more crazy to the pile.

The Doctor's new plan is to bring attention to P-Zero by sonicing everything within sight to oblivion. Light bulbs explode, windshield wipers go wild with alliteration. An old lady's scooter sends her careening down the street. (which is hilarious!)

This happens. Run Firemen! Catch that truck!

It works until the screwdriver explodes! The Spaceship flies away and P-Zero lives to bark another day.

The Doctor has to think about this now. Where could P-Zero have gone? Naturally, down the drain, but where to? He only has 17 minutes left to figure out how to drive it out into the open.

Where has P-Zero gone anyway? Well, it's gone to the hospital where we find the Doc trying to shake awake a coma patient. Hey, lady...He's comatose, you know that means he's probably not going to be waking up or answering you anytime soon. You need a mandatory vacation!

Back at the park the Doctor is explaining that a Multeel can live for millennia, so this is no big deal. The only reason the authorities are late catching it is because they were following the Doctor around on his timey-wimey five minute trip into the future.

He demands Rory's phone.

As the Doctor flips through the pictures of all the coma patients, Rory's kind of flipping out in disbelief. He let's out some more embarrassing info: Amy made a game of it when they were kids, and she made Rory dress up like the Doctor.

Awwwww. I want a flashback, where BB Amy and BB Rory play Adventures of the Raggedy Doctor!

In any case, we have an important bit of info to shed here: The Multeeel has a dog because the patient is dreaming of his dog. Dude must have really liked that puppy! (Remember this, it's important!)

After he's done explaining that, the Doctor Shouts "Laptop" into the air randomly.

The Doctor wants to use a laptop and he remembers that Amy's friend had one he can commandeer. The Good Looking one, Jeff. Not this one. Rory's all *Rolly Eyes* I see how it is.

The Doctor sends them off on a mission to the hospital, but Rory's still stuck on the whole 'Amy's imaginary friend is actually a real dude' thing.

Over at Jeff's house, the Doctor busts in on his room without knocking and interrupts a little... Jeff on Jeff time. Oh, dear.

Well, Gran decided to join the party, so I'm gonna guess Jeff isn't in the mood anymore.

Why not invite all the experts in the world over too? The Doctor has hacked into some sort of big sciency big-wig teleconference, and he's going to help them out.

How? Well, he's sending them a computer virus that they need to send to as many social networking places as possible so every chip in every clock ever can be set back to 0 at precisely the same time. How to they know to trust him?

Well, he's going to direct that question to his best man.

That would be you, Beefcake. The Doctor gives Jeff an up close and personal pep talk out of reach of the webcam. Seems good old Jeff here has gone from minding his own business and looking at porn on the internet to possibly being the hero of the world in about two minutes.

Soak it all in Jeff! He just has one question. Why him?

Simple. It's his bedroom! The Doctor wishes him good luck and scurries away as fast as he came.

Jeff is all down to serious savin' the world business now, but the Doctor pops back in for one bit of prudent advise: "Delete your internet history."

That, my friends, is advice to live by, for sure.

Meanwhile, at the hospital, Amy and Rory have run into a bit of a snag. Everything's been sealed off and nobody knows what's going on. She gets on the phone to the Doctor to see if he can't help them out of this pickle. His advice: Look in the Mirror.

She's still wearing the police uniform, so she can get in past the police tape now, or whatever's holding them back. Rory goes all *rolly eyes* again because he's been relegated to phone holder-upper while Amy ties her hair back and chats with the Doctor.

As for how the Doctor is going to get to the hospital... I guess the firemen never caught up with their truck after all!

Up the coma ward everything is ripped to shreds and throw all about the place...Rory and Amy run into this not suspicious lady and her children. She tells us that everyone is dead: The mean Doctor, all the Nurses. Oh, boy. You picked a good day to get kinda fired, Rory.

Amy gets on the phone to the Doctor again to let him know everything has gone to shit already, when the Lady's kid starts talking in an adult voice...thus giving away P-Zero. There's no reason for it to hide its teeth anymore.

Rory is reasonably terrified and so is Amy pretty much even though she's been there already today.

P-Zero is going to go into a villainous monologe about how it watched Amy grow up for twelve years now and the magic Doctor isn't going to save her this time. Except, that's no so much true...

Group Hugs! The Doctor busts in on his firetruck ladder. Spoilsport!

SO the Doctor tries to convince P-Zero to just give it up and reveal itself, but it's not in the mood to do that. If it's going to go down, it wants to take the entire human race with it of course.

The Doctor tells it to just open another crack if it wants out so bad, but it reveals that it didn't open the crack. Then it taunts the Doctor in a sing-song manner because he doesn't know how the cracks happened either.

She says something about the Pandoric opening and silence reigning, which I'm sure will be important later, so jot that one down.

While the Multeel has been talking, the clocks have all turned back to 0 All around the world.

Props to the Doctor's team: Jeff and the World! Go, Jeff and the World!

And what has all of this clock changery to do with anything? Well, the Eyeballs have been able to track this particular virus to the source...which is Rory's Mobile right here in the Doctor's hand, not only that, but all of its coma patient disguises are right there on Rory's camera as well!

How about them Happy Apples, Prisoner Zero?

The Doctor Tallies up the score: Doctor: 1, P-Zero: 0 with minutes to spare and no TARDIS or Screwdriver to boot.

"WHO 'DA MAN?!!!"

Right. That catch phrase is going back in the box where it belongs.

Meanwhile, the Multeel has one more trick up it's...mutli-dimensional, pointy toothed, eel form.

It has had twelve years to form a psychic bond with one person not in a coma. Amy. She goes down like a sack of potatoes.

Form of: The DOCTOR! He doesn't recognize himself, because he hasn't had time to look in a mirror in the past half hour or so.

He wants to know why P-Zero has chosen him to imitate, since it's Amy that's connected. The Multeel pulls out BB Amy who tries to pour some guilt on the Doctor by calling him a disappointment for never coming back for her all this time.

He doesn't buy it. He thinks Amy is dreaming of him because she can hear him in real life.

He runs back to Amy and tries to get her to imagine what she saw in that secret room she just would not leave earlier in the day.

Uh, OH! That's right, P-Zero. And you would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for those pesky kids and their Doctor.

The Multeel has one more parting word, before it is whisked off to planet eyeball again: Enjoy the Silence... 'cos it's coming.

Rory's getting all excited because Amy's back in the land of the living, if a little groggy, and the Doctor has saved the day. Yay!

He gets a pat on the head from the Doctor (literally) and an advance apology for the ginormous long distance bill he's going to get, for the Doctor is about to call the eyeball ships out in space and it doesn't get much more long distance than that.

Rory blabbers on with incredulity about the Doctor defeating the Aliens then calling them back, but Amy hops right up and follows him. Eventually Rory stops talking and catches up with them.

The Doctor Makes a pit stop at the locker room for some new clothes. He shall be raggedy no longer. Rory is still going on about summoning the "Aliens of Death" back to Earth, and acts like he's never been in a changing room with another man before in his life. He turns his back while Amy grabs an eyeful.

They head up to the roof to meet the race of giant eyeballs. AKA "Aliens of Death" AKA the Atraxi The Doctor is angry because they were about to blow up a class 5 planet...which is illegal it seems. He doesn't want them to come back.

Rory just points at it speechlessly, because it's a giant frikkin' eyeball. What is there to say?

The Doctor asks for advice on his wardrobe from the Eyeball. The Better to see you with, I guess.

The Eyeball is like, What's your deal, dude? Who cares if we blow up this stupid planet, it's not important. Pfffft. They may have two eyeballs, but they're very tiny.

Well, the Doctor Cares. He asks if the People are a threat, and the answer is no. Not to the Atraxi anyways.

Then he asks if the world is protected. The Atraxi runs a projection of all the Who baddies, and all the Doctors that saved the world previously, and the new Doctor steps through the image of the last Doctor and pronounces his Doctorness, and that the Atraxi should RUN.

So they run. 'Cos the Doctor is that badass that just the mention of his name sends "Aliens of Death" scurrying for cover.

Just in time! A new TARDIS key!

The Doctor disappears while Amy stands and muses about the Eyeballs.

She gets back just in time to see the Doctor leave. What a downer.

Amy closes her eyes and flashbacks to BB Amelia waiting for the Doctor to come. Awwww.

We hear the sound of the TARDIS and it turns out that Amy was just having a dream about it...or is she?

The Doctor Apologizes for jetting off so fast earlier. He just wanted to take the new TARDIS out for a spin to the moon. Amy's just surprised he kept the clothes...including that bow tie.

This Doctor thinks bow ties are cool. So there. He invites Amy along on his adventures.

She reminisces about all the wondrous things they did, capturing P-Zero and banishing flying eyeballs and everything. The Doctor's all -Yeah, yeah, plenty more to see.-

Until she reveals that all that happened two years ago. Which brings the grand total up to 14 years of waiting.


Amy's not so sure about this as she once was when she was a little girl. She's had to do a lot of growing up. The Doctor assures her that he has the cure for that and he finger snaps the TARDIS door open.

Which is impressive. Amy heads on in because if there's one thing a girl can't resists, it's a great big TARDIS.

Amy is speechless. She doesn't even have a -bigger on the inside- comment despite the Doctor totally prompting her for one. When she does speak it's to worry about traveling time and space in her nightie. (No worries, there's a wardrobe.)

So, where to? Amy's asks him how he's sure she's coming along anyway. He rattles off a list of why she's coming, and she doesn't disagree.

She just has to be back for tomorrow morning at which point undisclosed "Stuff" will happen. She's totes engaged, isn't she? The Doctor promises to be back in time for the "Stuff" because he has a fantastic track record with punctuality.

Cool. The TARDIS has even manufacture a new Screwdriver! This one is green.

Most technologically advanced TARDIS eva!

Amy looks excited about the prospect for about half a second until she decides she needs to know why the Doctor chose her. He doesn't give a reason, but she pushes him for one.

What it comes down to is that he's lonely and tired of talking to himself.

Amy says okay. The shot lingers on this screen for a while with ominous music in the background.

Amy finally lets herself marvel at the TARDIS for a second. Seems like what the Doctor said was true, and she was begining to think he was just a madman with a box.

Ahh, but the secret to his success? He IS a madman with a box! They erupt into manic giggles and skip away to the TARDIS console.

And we're off!

Back in Amy's room, we see that she has all her old Raggety Doctor stuff out from when she was a kid.

How can we tell this isn't some sort of flashback?

Because of the Stuff.



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