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Doctor Who
Season 04 Episode 03
Planet of the Ood
Spoilers for Episode 4
Meet the Ood! (Again) Who's sole purpose in life is to serve you tea...one lump, or two? None, thanks, I don't take any sugar.
Actually, what we're seeing is an ad. An ad for an Ood, who are being bred to be sold as servants. Only 50 credits.
This dude is none too happy about the drop in price and he bids his Ood to get the binder on the Military sales...because the military is always looking for grunts. Yikes. I'm going to presume that before very long I won't be the only person who finds something wrong with this scenario.
Anyway, the Ood gives him the wrong file and he's all, that's the wrong file, and the Ood says, Who cares, let me zap you with my ball.
We join Donna and the Doctor in the TARDIS on the Magical Mystery tour. He's decided that it would be an awesome idea to put the TARDIS on random and let it take them wherever it fancies. Any where, any time, any when...sounds like nothing could possibly go wrong with that idea.
And Donna's geeked at the prospect of a real live alien planet! And so are we all right?
Donna's excited and the Doctor knows how exactly how she feels, and she wonders at how he can be so enthusiastic about it since he does it all the time, and usually ends up neck deep in trouble on top of that....In any case it still thrills him, otherwise he wouldn't do it.
Sooo, if you've ever wondered what a "squee" looked like...this is pretty much what it looks like. A TARDIS full of Squee.
Donna is so excited that she can't even find the words to describe it...until she steps outside. The word is freezing by the way.
Donna stands there shivering for a while as the Doctor talks and talks about how awesome it is that she and he get to travel all around and take in the wonders of time and space and etc..etc...I'm wondering why he doesn't just offer her his coat. He's got three other blasted shirts on underneath it today.
Anyway he looks back to gauge Donna's reaction to all this awesomeness, but she's run back into the TARDIS.
To get her own darn coat.
A Rocket Flies by, and Donna is now in awe. This spaceship impresses her, the flying box not so much.
And the Doctor's all, 'Yeah, but mine also travels through time'
Let's have an introduction to the Ood industries management. This guy is Mr. Halpern, and obviously in charge of the entire operation.
This guy is Dr. Ryder.
This is Solana head of Marketing.
Halpern wants to know how many are dead so they retire to the office to discuss it.
That would be three, attributed to heart attacks and accidents, but it turns out that is really renegade Ood.
They've got the red eye, says Ryder, and it's not the kind that can be cured with photoshop.
Solana wants to know what red eyes means, and we get a explanation about it being some sort of infection...which is not exactly right.
Halpern asks for a drink and his Ood provides one. And we learn that Solana is a big fat goody two-shoes when she points out...to the Owner of the company that drinking is not allowed on the premises. Good thing it's actually hair tonic.
It's all this stress! Says Halpern as he jabs himself in the noggin.
Meanwhile the doctor and Donna find the renegade Ood from the beginning of this episode and the poor thing is on death's doorstep. Donna's a little freaked at first because, well, it's an Ood and it's freaky looking, but the Doctor assures her that it's harmless so she keeps it talking while the Doctor does doctory things with a stethoscope even though he has no clue about Ood biology.
Donna tries to talk into the Ood's voice ball.
He has one mysterious piece of info to drop before he passes on to that great Oodsphere in the sky..."The Circle must be Broken"
Then he gets the red eye and goes after the Doctor and Donna for just a moment and then he collapses dead.
So what's the red eye mean? It means that some thing is psychically controlling the Ood, which is bad news. I mean, last time the Doctor encountered that there was a giant hellbeast, and he pretty much tells Donna as much, but she totally doesn't believe him.
They're going to investigate further, because now they've found civilization!
Solana is here corralling a bunch of potential investors / salesmen of some sort.
The Doctor and Donna run in announcing their presence boldly, with big giant grins and Fake psychic paper I.D.'s instead of just tagging along at the back of the pack. Though I guess they would have been noticed either way since neither one of them is wearing a suit with a giant white collar.
Solana mistakes them for Husband and wife, and they quickly correct that impression. Okay, we totally get that they do not have the hots for each other, can we stop now or are we going to jump into a giant pile of steaming awkward when Martha shows up next week?
Just then an alarm sounds. We know that means renegade Ood, but Solana passes it off as a big fat nothing and ushers the Doctor and Donna inside with the rest of the corporate evil.
We'll meet this guy, head of security. I don't know if we know his name so I'm just going to call him Captain Crazypants.
There are scenes of a Red eyed and now Rabid Ood on the run interspersed with Solana's spiel, in which she tells us that an Ood is a reflection of ourselves. Very subtle.
Crazypants lets us in on the new Rabid development, so Halpern wants this one alive so he can see for himself.
Halpern wonders if his hair is growing back and Ood Sigma is all ---- . 'Cos the Ood have no concept of hair and stuff.
And Solana shows off some new and disturbing translation ball features: Standard Ood Voice...A Sexy lady Ood Voice (for the fellahs)...and Homer Simpson...
The Doctor and Donna aren't interested in this bit, so they go over to the presentation Screen and the Doctor messes about with it so he can show Donna a bit of the universe that they're now in.
It's 4126 and the second Human Empire spanning three galaxies.
Donna's stuck on the 4126 thing because she repeats it a bunch of times in a disbelieving manner. She thinks it's all a bit weird for a bunch of people to have branched out from a time when everybody thinks the world is ending what with all the bees disappearing and Global Warming and such. Score two points for the bees, the Doctor wonders what is up with them.
Donna then wonders if the humans are intrepid explorers of the galaxies or just like a creepy virus that never goes away. The Doctor's not quite sure either. So back to the map...the red dots...Ood distribution centers across three galaxies, and what do the Ood have to say about being bought and sold like this?
They do not understand the concept of being free, they think they're born to serve. He does start in about the circle again, but Solana's all interrupty with her sales pitch.
So the Doctor and Donna decide to go on their own off-road tour of the Oodsphere.
Meanwhile this poor, rabid Ood is all chained up and growling and drooling all over the place.
Ryder doesn't know what's happening.
Ood Sigma looks to his human master for answers so he's no help at all.
Ryder demands access to a Mysterious warehouse 15 if he's to figure out this red eye business. Halpern doesn't think what's in there has anything to do with anything but he says Okay anyway. And what of the poor rabid Ood? Halpern says to do an autopsy, which means...kill the poor thing. Ryder doesn't seem pleased, and Ood Sigma also seems to twitch a displeased expression.
Meanwhile the Doctor and Donna spy how the Ood are really being treated as Crazypants whips one that slips on the snowy ground. They're slaves not servants.
and the Doctor, last time he was too busy to be concerned about the creatures to even ask.
Anyway, Halpern and Co. show up so Doctor and Donna duck and cover. Into Warehouse 15 we go.
Everything seems to be in order here, Ryder messes with some doodads and declares everything okay.
And would you believe this? Solana has actually done a background check on the Doctor's phony baloney psychic paper Identification. He is so caught.
Halpern instructs his security to catch the Doctor, but no alarms, and then gets a drink...one for the mysterious creature we don't get to see and one for himself.
Ood Sigma gives a lingering look over the catwalk. Obviously, whatever is in there has everything to do with the red eyed Ood and Ood Sigma seems to be a little bit more than a mindless servant.
Meanwhile, Donna has lead the Doctor into a massive warehouse where a bunch of shipping containers are hanging out...full of Ood. The Doctor points out the giant claw that is used to move containers from one area of the storeroom to the other for good measure.
We learn a very important detail about the Ood, which is: They're stinky when packed like sardines in a crushed tin box.
And Donna's like, 'Man, if 21st century Earth peoples could see this!' and the Doctor's all, 'what are you talking about, like you don't have slaves...who do you think stitched together your coat?'
Donna wonders if he just asks earthlings to travel along with him so he can make them feel like bastards, but she calls him Spice Man, so we know there's really no hard feelings.
Donna asks the Ood why they don't just run away, 'Does not compute' says the Ood.
The Doctor asks about the circle and the whole lot of them light up like Christmas Trees. The Circle must be broken, they chant. Why? So that they can sing, and that's all the Doctor can get out of them by now...
Because Crazypants has spotted him and set the alarm off even though Halpern told them no alarms.
Solana calms the investors down by telling them it's a fire drill. For such a stickler for the rules she sure can lie her ass off...but that is her job after all I guess.
Meanwhile, Donna tries to escape through a side door but comes face to face with a bunch of security. They shove her into one of the boxes. There's a few Ood inside hanging out.
Crazypants calls off his goons, because he's going after the Doctor himself.
He wants to fulfill his fantasy of playing the real life 'claw machine' game apparently. Judging by the amount of times I've won a prize at that game, I'd say his odds are slim to none.
Donna's Ood have gotten a case of the red eye in the meantime and she tries to convince them not to zap her, but that's totally not working, so she just starts screaming her head off for the Doctor to come and save her.
But he's acrobatically dodging the claw.
And very nearly gets caught himself, but Solana has turned off the claw, much to Crazypants's chagrin. Halpern wants them alive she reminds him, It wouldn't do to have a squished Doctor.
The guards let Donna out of the box and she hugs the Doctor. So they're captured, now what horrible fate awaits them at the hands of Halpern?
Nothing, because all the Ood in the warehouse have come down with the red eye and they're going to go around ball zapping the security so the Doctor and Donna can run away.
Donna tries to lay a guilt trip on Solana about the treatment of the Ood.
And she's all, 'whatever, nobody asks, nobody cares, and I don't care either.'
So the Doctor asks for Directions so he can help solve the mystery of the Red eye and then he asks Solana to come with him because she knows this is wrong, ...but Solana totally rats him out to security by screaming her head off and pointing out where they are, then she tells Halpern where the Doctor is heading via wrist watch.
Meanwhile, a status report from Crazypants: All the Ood have red eye, some of them are rabid and this time it's not fading away. The plan is to gas the whole lot of them and claim the insurance money. Egad!
Halpern's hair is falling out by the handful now. That hair tonic isn't very effective is it? Hmmmm.
Meanwhile the Doctor can hear singing so he and Donna break into a warehouse.
Where they find a bunch of sad Ood cowering in a cage that's really too small for all of them. Poor Oods.
They're singing the song of captivity and the Doctor can tune into it, but Donna can't hear a thing. He asks if she wants to, and of course she does, even though he warns her that it is pretty much unbearably sad.
So he does this sort of Vulcan mind meld thing on her, and she can hear it, but it makes her sad so she wants him to take it away now, and so he does. She's sorry that she can't handle it and that the Doctor has to hear it all the time anyway, but he tells her it's okay.
Meanwhile, Halpern and Co are breaking in. Solana is sent to keep the investors from being brain zapped.
The Doctor sonics the cage door open so he can chat with the Ood. He wants them to show him what they're holding.
I totally thought it was going to be a baby Ood, but it's not. It's far more weird and worse than that. It's part of the Ood's brain. The humans are cutting out pat of their brains and replacing it with the translator ball, and this inhumane treatment of the Ood upsets Donna so much that she wants to go home. Already?
So the Doctor and Donna are cornered for real now, and what is there to do? The Doctor closes the cage door and goes completely insane.
Later, the insane plan having not worked at all, the Doctor and Donna are cuffed in some conference room. Halpern is convinced they are working for "Friends of the Ood" and The Doctor's all, 'If Friends of the Ood is wrong than I don't want to be right'.
And Halper is like, 'whatever the Ood love it. They were born to serve!'
Donna says that it's just that the Ood have to trust people, because they're born with their brains in their hands. What else are they going to do? The Doctor is impressed with her logic but Halpern, not so much.
And then the Doctor catches wind of project 'gas the Ood' which angers him.
Halpern doesn't care. It's just like foot and mouth disease back in the day. Kill the livestock! That'll solve the problem.
The two brained Oods don't like this business so they send out some psychic vibes to give all the Oods on the entire complex red eye.
Meanwhile Solana is trying desperately to get the salesmen out of the room, but these guys are like, 'we've got Ood, We've got refreshments, we're not going anywhere!"
So they get zapped.
Solana saves herself and the security forces look to her for instruction, she tells them to shoot to kill.
She thinks she's safe, but don't worry, she's got her just deserts coming to her.
Meanwhile, a pack of Ood comes to rescue the Ood that were about to be gassed. Crazypants is all alone so he gets locked up in place of the Ood when the gas goes off.
Halpern and Ryder go outside to see what the heck is going on and it's an Ood revolution. There's explosions everywhere and bullets flying and Ood translator balling guys to death.
The Doctor and Donna's please land on deaf ears and they are left to the Ood. There's no escaping now, they're handcuffed to some pipes
Halpern and Co. confer outside. He's going to kill whatever is in warehouse 15 and that will kill all of the Ood by extension. Ood Sigma for some reason is still cognizant and obedient, as a reward Halpern frees him to go be with his people. So is this supposed to be some sort of grand gesture of gratitude for all of Ood Sigma's service? Because right now his people are getting shot at left and right.
Donna wants to know if the Doctor's going to do some magical Time Lordly thing to get them out of this situation, but he hasn't got anything up his sleeve.
And there's a trio of Ood on the prowl.
They resort to the only logical conclusion: Begging for mercy. The Doctor repeats: Doctor, Donna, FREINDS! and Donna says: The Circle must be broken over and over.
The Two brained Oods in charge of this whole revolt remember them from before as their friends so they raise up their brains and call off the three Ood threatening the Doctor and Donna.
Halpern and Ryder make it to warehouse 15
The Doctor and Donna narrowly avoid being exploded. They really don't know what they're doing or where the bad guys have gone at this point.
Luckily the smoke clears and Ood Sigma is there to lead the way.
Back in Warehouse 15, Ryder looks queasy and Halpern is all, 'Yippee, we get to explode things!'
The thing they're going to explode, and that they've been hiding for about 200 years is this giant brain thing.
Let's let the Doctor explain: It's yet another Ood brain. They apparently have a Head Brain, a Hand Brain and a giant Hive Brain, and what's this...it's psychic powers are being dampened by this electrical circle around it keeping the Ood from communicating and singing with each other. The circle must be broken.
Luckily Halpern is there to gloat villainously.
And Ryder...turns out he's a friend of the Ood undercover style. Remember when he was messing with the doodad controls earlier? He lowered the Damper settings so the hive brain could communicate best it could with the Ood, hence the big old Ood uprising.
And then Halpern is like, Oh, Okay, that's nice, let me feed you to the giant brain, and over the rail Ryder goes and Eww.
Now what to do with that meddling Doctor and his red headed companion? He thinks he's going to shoot them, and he wonders if it's going to like it since he's never done it before. Well, considering he just fed a poor guy to a giant brain without any remorse, I don't think he's going to have a problem.
But Ood Sigma steps in to save the day. He offers Halpern a drink of ye olde hair tonic.
Halpern's feeling a little bit wobbly, like something is definitely, suddenly physically wrong with the guy. He wants to know if Ood Sigma has been poisoning him this whole time, and Ood Sigma's all 'are you crazy, Ood are peacful'
The Doctor gets it though. Red Eye = Vengeful Ood. Rabid = Angry Ood, and a Patient Ood, he will just give you Ood juice and get you in close proximity of the hive brain until...
Your hair falls out, tentacles erupt from your mouth and you vomit a hand brain. Halpern has just turned into an Ood. The Doctor seems oddly tickled by this bizarre development.
As for Donna, she can't tell what's even right or wrong any more, and the Doctor says maybe it's just better that way. The Doctor asks Ood Sigma if he can have the honor...seeing as he was just kind of hanging out and getting captured while the Ood pretty much took care of their own.
The circle has been broken!
The Red eye vanishes and all of the Ood start singing. Everybody can hear them everywhere now.
Later, Ood Sigma says good by to the Doctordonna, the Ood have somehow managed to slash them together even though they've spent the past two episodes convincing people that they're not married. He wonders if he will stay and share in the Ood song because there's always room for one Doctordonna.
And the Doctor's all, no thanks, I've got my own song to sing.
But Ood Sigma thinks his song must end soon. Foreshadowing...I hate you again.
And what of Donna? Does she still want to go home? No way, that was a momentary lapse of judgment.
Anyway, Ood Sigma goes on and on about how the Doctordonna will live in the Ood memories for ever and ever and then Off they go into the sunset as the Ood raise the roof goodbye.
Next Time!
Martha! Martha! Martha!
Tell me that's not a cyber conversion unit.
The (not so) New Alien Menace.
PS. Why do I keep wondering what it would look like if you crossed an Ood with a Weevil?
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