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The Gas We Pass

Doctor Who
Season 4 Episode 4
The Sontaran Strategem

Welcome to the Rattigan Academy. That's Rattigan with two t's, not one. Like this. Though I'm sure our Rattigan would like to think he's the worlds greatest criminal mind too.

So, here he is. Of course, one look at this dude and you can tell he's not the root of whatever this weeks evil is.

But he does have a bunch of equally geeky minions in orange tracksuits to do his bidding.

He's kicked this ace reporter out of the complex for nosing around. She's discovered that the "ATMOS" is dangerous.

Rattigan points out that she doesn't exactly have any proof and she storms away after telling him that she'll find someone who will listen to her.

So what's an ATMOS? It appears to be some sort of GPS system...for now. Reporter girl can't disable the thing so she tells it to take her to UNIT headquarters.

Meanwhile, Rattigan's back in his gigantic office or whatever talking to thin air or something. The reporters name is Jo and she's getting a little to close. He recomments termination.

Oh, wait, I guess he is talking to somebody. A disembodied alien voice reminds him not to overstep his authority.

And he's all, 'I said "Recommend"' The disembodied aliens agree with his strategy.

He says, "Cool" and hits a racquetball with this smirk on his face. Yeah, murder is awesome, rattboy.

Meanwhile, Jo is reporting to UNIT. Apparently a bunch of people all died at the same time in ATMOS equipped cars the day previously. It's awfully shady, but she still has no proof.

The ATMOS is directing her to turn towards a river, and then tells her that it's her final destination. It's so not UNIT headquarters. Then the car locks her in and puts itself into drive.

And thus is the end of Jo. At least UNIT is clued in now.

Somewhere in space and time, Donna is piloting the the TARDIS. No, the Doctor can't believe it either. (OMG! WTF? could we please get some more acronyms in this episode?)

He warns her not to get too close to the 1980's, because, really, who wants to relieve that era?

Then his mobile rings. Donna seems shocked and awed that the Doctor has a mobile. It's the little things, isn't it, Donna?

But it's not his, is it? We know who's calling.

It's Martha Jones, and She's brining the Doctor back to Earth.

The Doctor steps out of the TARDIS and there's Martha. So is this going to be weird or awkward in any way? I don't know.

Let's find out.

No! Hugs! Good choice.

The Doctor asks after the family. They're doing okay, and so is Martha.

But what of Donna and Martha? The Doctor seems to fear a cat fight on the horizon because he gives them due warning not to start.

Of course they don't, though, because Donna isn't a lovesick teenager who's all territorial over the Doctor, and neither is Martha.

In fact Donna tells Martha that the Doctor has only had wonderful nice things to say about her. Including that she fancied him.

But Donna sees she's gotten over it by the rock on her finger. She wants to know who the lucky man is.

The Doctor wants to know if he's "Unlucky" First of all, He kind of is considering he's like a magnet to alien take-overs.

Second of all..."She's engaged, you prawn," says Donna. Haha. She called him a prawn. I like you, Donna.

Anyway, confirmation that Martha is engaged to Tom Milligan and he is strong. (and totally hot)

Unlike this string bean over here.

Anyway, Martha's radio crackles to life and she green lights operation Blue Sky then walks authoritatively away from the Doctor and Donna, so they follow her.

Off to a big old UNIT style Raid.

Martha is standing there barking orders into her radio. Like, seriously, how is she qualified to lead a military raid? We'll get an explanation for her Doctorhood in a minute, but...what the hell?

Donna wonders if the Doctor turned her into a soldier, and I think he's wondering the same thing. He doesn't look too pleased in any case.

Elsewhere the disembodied alien voice gets a few fingers, and it scoffs at UNIT's lack of body armor.

The Doctor Spots Martha's full time Doctor status.

Yes! UNIT rushed it through because of all her field experience.

Then she leads them over to the impromptu headquarters that UNIT has set up in the back of a big giant black truck.

The Doctor, so very not pleased to be meeting UNIT brass.

Meet Colonel Mace.

The Doctor's all, 'Ewww, Don't salute.'

Then Mace goes on and on about how it's such a pleasure to meet him, and he's read all his files and technically the Doctor is still working for UNIT. (For the Record: This goes way back beyond the times when I watched this show, so I don't know how, what, why, where or anything about this.) Anyway, Mace gets the super-duper rolly eyes of doom with extra head lolling from the Doctor.

The Doctor recalls old UNIT being a little more "homespun". Things have changed, says Mace and he calls the Doctor "Sir" Which the Doctor doesn't like. He sure doesn't give this Mace character much of a chance does he? It remains to be seen whether he's alright or mad with power I think. In any case, the Doctor does not respect his authority!

Anyway, Martha tells them about all the massive funding they have now, and Donna's all, 'Civil liberties, factory workers, what the hell UNIT? Guantanamo Bay, much? I'm Donna Salute Me, Colonel Salutey-Pants.

and Mace is like, 'Who is this mouthy read head with no security clearance.'

The Doctor tells him he'd better do it.

Since this Mace dude seems to respect the Doctor, he doesn't argue. He just does it, the only protest being a bit of a frowny face.

Now, we'll get down to business. Let's peep the ATMOS death map. Fifty some odd ATMOS deaths simultaneously across the world. Poisoned. ATMOS is the only link, and they are at the ATMOS factory right now.

So what's an ATMOS anyway? It reduces carbon emissions to nothing! And they think it's alien tech.

They couldn't figure out if anything was wrong with it or not, so they brought in an expert on all things alien.

The Doctor wonders who that could be...right.

After Martha and Mace have left, Donna wonders why the aliens would want to clean up the environment. Ever the optimist, she thinks they might be trying to help.

Ever not the optimist, the Doctor points out that with the 800 million cars on the roads, that's a heck of a lot of weapons.

So while the Doctor is upstairs trying to figure out what the aliens are up to. Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum here have made thier way into the basement and found some super secret area being guarded by two factory workers. The smarmy white guy
thinks he's all bad ass when they let them through, but it's a big fat trap being set up by the disembodied alien voices.

What do they find, but this strange device. So they creep around with guns drawn.

#2 wants to call for back up
but #1 wants to get a promotion for finding the thing.

Something inside starts banging on the lid.

Number one seems to think it's a brilliant idea to open this strange alien artifact that he has no idea what it does or what horrors are waiting inside of it.

There's some kind of green ooze inside when it finally opens up. I'm going not going to say #1 managed to get it open, because it's fairly obvious that he didn't know what he was doing and this is a set up. Anyway...#2 let's us know that whatever that green business is, it stinks. So #1 gets right up next to it and practically sticks his nose in it while #2 calls for back up again. I think somebody is following protocol, and somebody is a little too curious for his own good.

Anyway, this thing pops out of the ooze and taps #1 on the nose which finally gets him to back away from the container. I have to say that I pretty much thought his face was going to get melted off at this point...

But nah, his pretty face is unharmed turns out, while #2 calls ever more urgently for backup to no avail, #1 has already pretty much figured out that the thing breaths green ooze and the container is an incubator for a human body. So he's not completely stupid, just a bit full of himself.

Let's note the umbilical cord attached at the back of the neck...so when it's removed do these things get "Neck buttons" then? Anyway, I'm pretty confident that this is going to come back to us later, and I'm not talking about this episode later either...

While #1 is pondering the creature, and #2 is spazzing out, this guy magically teleports into the basement. I just really have nothing funny to say about this guy...a picture is worth a thousand laughs you know. Anyway, He thinks #2 is a big wuss, but #1 has potential.

Speaking of #1, he makes the unfortunate mistake of insulting this alien's height.

And he thinks he's really clever. Seriously, dude, did you miss the day in training when they taught you not to provoke hostile aliens? I take it back #1 is supid after all.

Anyway, our big bad of the week, doesn't like this and zaps #1 in the knee cap with his magic wand and down he goes.

#2 is all 'I'm warning you!' and the alien commands him to shoot. But ha-ha He's disabled the guns and the coms.

So #2 get's knee zapped too.

And the Alien guy apologizes because to die in battle would be much more honorable, but apparently he needs these two geniuses to help with the 'stratagem'

#1 want's to know who he is.

the alien obliges and we get a quick peek at what terrifying creature lies beneath the helmet dome. His name is General Staal of the 10th Sontaran battlefleet A.K.A. Staal the Undefeated.

Meanwhile, in Doctor land, the Doctor is poking and prodding the ATMOS. It's human made, but far beyond the current times. And then he get's all, 'get away from me with your gun, authority figure man whom I don't like' with Mace.

And Martha's like, 'Give a man a break, will you.'

The Doctor sticks firmly by his anti-gun stance, since they're usually the enemies as far as he's concerened.

Anyway, he admonishes Martha for fitting right in with these gun toting UNIT people, and she blames him for getting her used to it in the first place, and they do a bit of back and forth. Martha assures him she is going to use her powers of holy awesomeness to make UNIT a better place with flowers and puppies and rainbows and stuff.

The Doctor concedes the point. Happy smiles. She learned from the best after all.

Donna comes barging in then, while they've all been in there inspecting the device she's been down in personnel inspecting the paperwork. None of the staff have called in sick in months! It's downright suspicious.

Of course the colonel doesn't believe this...and where did he come from anyway? He disappeared after the Doctor shooed him away, was he like sulking in a corner on the other side of the room or what? Strike that, it appears he was sulking just outside the little plastic flaps on the other side of the room.

Martha compliments Donna on her own brand of awesomeness, and she can see why the Doctor likes her.

Donn gives herself her own superhero name: Supertemp, and UNIT is going to set up a medical unit so that they can check out the workers and see what's up with them.

Later the Doctor is going to pay a visit to our dear old friend from the beginning of the episode, child genius and inventor of the ATMOS, Mr. Rattigan, who now runs a boarding school for other super geniuses.

Meanwhile, Donna and Martha have a heart to heart. Donna wonders if she should warn her Mum about the ATMOS in her car...yes. And Martha warns Donna that she'd better tell her family what she's up to, you know, because of all that business that went down with Martha's family last time. It's best that they know what she's getting into, because even though the Doctor is wonderful and awesome, he's like fire, and playing with fire will get you burnt. Or something.

And Commander Staal sends #1 and #2 off to do his bidding.

The powers that be make sure to let us know that these dudes are indeed planning to wipe out planet Earth.

Meanwhile, the Colonel and the Doctor are still not fond of each other. The Doctor wants to borrow a jeep and Mace is not allowed to come because the Doctor doesn't want him to point a gun at anyone (has he yet?), and the Colonel's all, 'why don't you just
TARDIS yourself there, smarty-pants.' And the Doctor's like, 'cos you don't want to but the TARDIS in the wrong hands. I did that once, it didn't turn out well.' and the Colonel's says, 'Oh, so you do have weapons after all. I see how it is.'

Anyway, forget these bickering fools for a minute. Let's cut to Ross Jenkins, and watch as a zillion fangirls instantaneously fall in love with him. Including me. He gets instructed to chauffeur the Doctor around and take his orders. The Doctor insists that he's not a giving orders kind of guy.

And then tells Mace not to salute him, which Mace is only too happy to point IS an order as he stomps away.

The Doctor gets all excited about their trip to the countryside when Donna appears, but she's got some bad news, she wants to go home.

And he's all sad, because he wanted to take her to see all this super cool space stuff, such as the Medusa Cascade and whatnot.

And then he makes "The Face" when he realizes that she's only going home to pop in for a visit. Well, that's a relief. And off they go!

As they speed away, #1 and #2 are waiting ominously behind the jeep. I wonder what they're up to?

Meanwhile, Martha is inspecting this strangely obedient Polish dude. She tries to reassure him that they aren't going to deport him or anything, but the only thing he will say is that 'he came here to work'

Martha detects some irregular heartbeats, and also asks if he's ever been hypnotized. She obviously knows something is up and excuses herself to go find Mace and voice her suspicions.

She's accosted by two soldiers in the warehouse and they tell her to follow them, they know where Mace is.

Perhaps in a dark basement somewhere?

Meanwhile Donna gets dropped off near her house, and I can't really tell if she's happy when faced with her return home to the doldrums of normal life interspersed with flashbacks of her awesome adventures through time and space...There's a kid playing soccer, and a neighbor asks where she's been...

But then She spots Gramps and it seems that she realizes that she has missed her family at least.

They have happy reunion hugs!

Meanwhile, Martha walks straight into a trap. At least she doesn't Know it's a trap.

She tries to get out of it, but #1 and #2 are way too strong, and since they aren't controlling their own brains anymore, she doesn't escape.

Back at the house of Nobel, Donna is catching up with Gramps and telling him all about the aliens and the Doctor's amazingness.

Gramps wants to make sure that she's safe with this guy, and she assures him that she is.

Gramps actually brings it up that it's not going to be a good idea to tell her mother, and Donna isn't so sure about that. She's obviously ruminating over what Martha had to tell her earlier.

Then Mom enters and she's all, 'Blablablabla where have you been, you're not getting any Tea, Missy, Grandpa's not sticking to his diet blablablabla'.

Donna is totally not going to tell her, and Mom tells her to go cut some coupons.

Meanwhile Ross the magnificent is filling us in on the UNIT surveillance of this Rattigan fellow, he compares the Academy to the Hitler Youth. Achtung!

The Doctor changes the subject back to ATMOS, as in, why is it in all the jeeps if they think it's some kind of dangerous alien tech? That's simple, it's standard issue in all government issue vehicles until they can prove there's something wrong with it. It drives Ross around the bend. The ATMOS says: Turn Right!

Haha, The Doctor is amused by Ross's comic timing.

So there is Rattigan...his troops running around in their bright orange tracksuits...which honestly makes them look like they are in prison to me.

Rattigan knows he's the Doctor because his commanding officer called ahead.

The Doctor says he's got no commanding officer and then asks Rattigan if he does. He just hit the nail on the head, and Rattigan looks a bit uncomfortable.

Let's just introduce Ross again, that makes everything better.

Inside the kids are doing a bunch of sciency experiments and such, and the Doctor is geeking out to the extreme. He insinuates that maybe Mr. Rattigan wants to move to another planet or something.

If only that was possible he says.

Then the Doctor corrects his grammar. Ooooo, GEEK FIGHT! GEEK FIGHT!

Rattigan leads them to his lair and says that they are smarter than the average U NIT grunts (See Examples #1 and #2) The Doctor says not to call Ross a grunt...

Because we like Ross.

Rattigan wants to know what is up with this Doctor guy, the Doctor goes around peeping the surroundings and wondering why an 18 year old kid would care about inventing 0 carbon cars.

Rattigan says it takes a man with vision, and then the Doctor points out that it just means more people will buy cars since they now come guilt free and the oil will run out even faster.

Anyway, the Doctor Says ATMOS system, and then Rattigan corrects the Doctor's grammar with finger quotes and everything.

The Doctor compares notes with Rattigan and shrinks him a couple of sizes under the wieght of his Time Lordly glare. He's all, 'it's so hard being clever, noticing and connecting the things around you, and being too smart for everyone on this world and whatnot.'

But not with the ATMOS, because Rattigan had help. The ATMOS is earth Technology, but so far advanced it's like "Finding a Mobile in the Middle Ages" or like Finding this big metal box with snazzy purple lights in the middle of someone's front room.

What is that thing, asks Ross.

Things Schmings, says the Doctor. All you see is things.

Rattigan tells him not to touch it, but the Doctor doesn't do Orders if you recall.

This thing looks like a Teleport Pod to him, and away he goes.

Oooh, Hello Sontaran Battlefleet.

We have an Intruder! THE Sontaran in charge points his magic wand at the Doctor, adn the Doctor says: "How'd he get in? Intruder Window." Har Har Har! I think that's my favorite Pun yet.

Anyway, the Doctor's got to run now, back to the Castle Rattigan.

One of the Sontaran's follows him through and the Doctor Sonics the Teleport so no more can come.

And then the Doctor shouts the Sontaran's species name as the Sontaran points his magic wand. He hopes it's enough to keep him alive for the moment and it seems to work since his knee-caps are still intact.

Then Ross tries to arrest the thing

And the Doctor explains that the guns aren't going to work here.

The Sontaran wants to know what is with this guy. How does he know the things that he nows? Who is he?

Rattigan says he gave no name. He assumes the Doctor isn't a name.

And the Doctor then goes on to berate the Sontaran for not facing battle with diginity, all this sneaking and hiding and subterfuge and nonsenical plans involving removing carbon emissions from the atmosphere.

For shame!

The Sontaran feels dishonored.

So show yourself then.

And there he is in all his bald headed, neckless glory. It's General Staal the Undefeated.

The Doctor's like, 'well, that's a silly name, what if you get defeated?'

The peanut gallery compares the Undefeated's head to baked potato. He must have skipped the same lecture that #1 did.

And the Doctor compares Ross to a pink weasle.

Let's have a lesson in Sontarans : The are the finest soldiers in the galaxy dedicated to warefare, a clone race bred in batches of millions, with one weakness.

Staal is like 'nuh-uh'

Rattigan thinks these guys are totally stupid for provoking the miniscule baked potato headed alien with the magic wand.

The Doctor explains that they have a vent in the back of thier necks. (The Neck Button)

Which means they always have to face their enemies in battle! Brilliant!

We stare into the face of death! Says Staal, all proud of himself and his bravery.

And the Doctor says, "Well, Stare at this" Then he whacks a racetteball at the Sontaran, it ricochets off the Transporter and smacks him right in his Neck Button and Down he goes. NICE Shot. I want the Doctor on my team!

This gives the Doctor and Ross enough time to make a get away. So, was I the only one yelling at them not to get in the car with the damn ATMOS in it?

Back at the Castle Rattigan, Staal has recovered and is fixing the transport with his magic want so he and Rattigan can go up to the mothership.

This Dude wants to go into battle without his helmet too because he wants to be like Staal. What a suck-up. And Rattigan wonders how they can tell each other appart. Staal is like, 'Shut-up, Pink Weasle.'

Then we get the lowdown on how many cars have the ATMOS. It's about half.

So is that enough?

More than enough, says Rattigan, and then he gets all excited about all the people he killed at the same time the previous day, and with that any sympathy I had for the poor lonley genius boy getting mixed up with bad warmongering aliens goes right out the window. This isn't a video game Rattigan! It's innocent people's lives.

Potato head #2 goes to check up on thier latest project.

Which is project strap Martha to what looks a mind probe attached to like a cyber-conversion unit. But I guess it's not.

Potato head #2's real name is Commander Skorr, the bloodbringer. That's nice.

Anyway, we learn that #1 and #2 are being mind controled. Obviously, but they have something more sinister in mind for Martha.

The Creature in the vat of green ooze has suberb timing and reaches it's hand up so Martha can see.

And she asks what it is.

Soon it will be you, says Skorr.

Back in outerspace, Rattigan laments the fact that the Earth was too small for him.

Staal likes his ambition...until he mentions the Doctor. Then he's all, 'Why didn't you tell me that skinny dude was THE Doctor.

And Rattigan's all, 'A Doctor's a Doctor, What?'

Staal explains the Doctor: A Great Enemy of the Sontarans, Lead the Time War...the greatest battle ever and the Sontaran's weren't allowed in. He's all bitter about that, but is excited that he gets to dispose of the last Time Lord himself.

Then we get to see the Mothership, which looks like a giant stapler.

Meanwhile, Martha's getting her mind probe on.

Finally we're let in on the secret if we haven't figured it out already. Martha's being cloned, and her memories are being transfered into the body. Understandably, Real!Martha is freaked out.

and Clone!Martha pulls the umbelical cord out of her neck.

Then, Skorr sends Martha to sleep.

Meanwhile, the Doctor realizes that they're in trouble now, because the Sontarans can control the ATMOS.

The Doctor tells Ross to turn Right, and Ross is all, 'But the ATMOS says turn left!'

And the Doctor's like, 'I know what it Says Just turn right!'

But the vehicle is now completely out of his cotrol and the doors have locked themselves.

The only fix for this predicament must be a little Sonicing, right? No? Well, that doesn't work, so Ross tries the butt of his gun on the thing instead, all he manages to do is break the screen a little bit, and the Doctor's all, 'Chill with the gun, alright?'

Rattigan is pumped for some more murder!

Ross lets us know we're heading into the river now.

And the Doctor has a little chat with the ATMOS, which is programed to contradict his every order, so he orders it to drive directly into the water. Yay! It's opposite day!

The Doctor and Ross escape the car, and then take a nap.

The thing doesn't actually explode though, it just kind of fizzles out. How anticlimactic!

The Doctor is kind of disappointed.

They think the Doctor is dead, so they prepare to go to battle...

Meanwhile, Real!Martha is out cold

And Clone!Martha is ready to advance the great Sontaran Cause.

You will not believe this day, says the Doctor.

He goes to inspect Donna's car.

Let's say goodbye to Ross for now, as he's off to requisition a car without an ATMOS. Try not to shoot anybody, says the Doctor, and off he goes.

So it turns out the Doctor and Gramps have met before, at Donna's wedding. I'll be perfectly honest and say that I totally do not remember anything about that episode except for the giant space spider, and the fact that Gramps was actually not in this Christmas special, but the last one, as has just been pointed out to me. Oh, Well, you're lucky I remember yesterday, let alone five months ago.

Anyway, Donna has called Martha so the Doctor can speak with her.
Tell Mace: Sontarans, Code Red, Don't try to shoot them or it'll be a massacre.

Clone!Martha's all 'yeah, yeah, sure whatever.'

And look, there's Mace! She tells him everything is fine.

Back at the Donna's car, she wonders what the Doctor could find now since he's already looked at the ATMOS back at the factory.

He knows it's Sontaran now, though, and that makes all the difference apparently.

Gramps tries to make the Doctor promise to take care of Donna, but the Doctor says that she takes Care of him. Then Gramps starts telling him embarassing stories about her childhood, like her Nick-name, 'Little General,' and that gay guy she used to date who wore nail varnish. Oh, how I wish the Sontaran's would have held off until Gramps could drag out the scrap-book and home movies.

Anyway, the Doctor manages to bring some spikes out of the ATMOS. It's a 'temporal pocket' which makes it a second out of step with real time.

Donna just gets to asking what's it hiding, when her mom shows up to crash the party. She scoffs at men and thier cars, "If I was a car..."
You'd have a guy under your hood at all times?

The Doctor says Hi, and Donna's Mom freaks out because she remembers him, not so kindly from the wedding.

Donna's all, "Mum, not now, while the world hangs in the balance."

And the Doctor sets off a smoke bomb.

Meanwhile, back at the Mothership, the Sontaran's get notification that a converter has been activated.

Staal is like, YES! The Doctor Survived to do battle another day! I don't know why he's so happy, doesn't survival defeat the purpose of trying to kill him in the first place.

Anyway, the fleet is now preparing for battle slightly ahead of schedule yet again. Rejoice!

And Donna's Mom is bitching about the Doctor blowing up the car now.

They figure out that there is poisonous gas in every car with an ATMOS. All 400 million or so.

Right on cue, Staal starts up all the converters, and deadlocks all the cars.

Unfortunately for Donna and her Grandpa, he's got himself locked inside as he got it in his head that he'd better move the poisonous gas-mobile off the street.

The Doctor tries some desperate Sonicing.

Meanwhile, all the cars across the world start belching gas.

And Mace is like, 'what the hell? Shut them off! But they're deadlocked. Alas. He should try shooting them.

Clone!Martha strides purposfully into the chaos.

And the Doctor is at a loss for what to do. There's no way he can stop the cars. He can't even sonic the door open and save Donna's Grandpa.

I will try very hard not to refer to the Sontaran's little ships as "Spaceballs". No, I won't. The Spaceballs shoot out of the giant stapler and head to Earth.