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Torchwood
They Keep Killing Suzie
Series 1 Episode 8
Well...First of all we get a what happened previously reel at the beginning of the episode which highlights episode one and our good pal, crazy ass Suzie. Also, the episode is called "They Keep Killing Suzie"...so it's a safe bet Suzie is going to reappear. Hmmmm. Right, right we're not pretending! Crazy Ass Suzie, here we come!
Since we're not pretending: This is Detective Swanson, who is less than pleased at having to deal with Torchwood on this job.
And here they come in Torchwood V formation with their spiffy sunglasses and flowing jackets.
Swanson can tell by the way they walk that they are Torchwood. Her team bitches about them all the time to her, but this is her first meeting in the flesh.
Speaking of in the flesh...Cap'n Jack Harkness. At your service!
So she's heard. She wants to know if he's always this dressy while investigating murders...Umm, he's not That dressy...detective who is wearing a suit.
Jack wonders if she would rather he be naked. Where do I sign up?
Jack's reputation precedes him. The stories are true, says Swanson.
Gwen's like, 'enough of this, cap'n flirty-pants!' There are people dead inside, so who are they?
Swanson hands over a dossier on the previous days victim...Alex Arwen, and today's victims are Mark and Sara Brisco.
Jack spies smears of blood on the wall in the crime scene photos and wants to know if it's writing.
She invites the gang in to take a gander at the work in progress.
Gwen Oh, My God!s right away, so you know it's bad.
There's some shots of the couple all bloody and throats slit and whatnot, let's take a pass on that image for now...Swanson tells Torchwood that someone must be trying to get their attention.
See.
Well, that did the trick. Torcwhood's attention is had.
Later, Swanson is telling Jack about the killer's hairs they found at the first murder.
Ah, who am I kidding. This is Torchwood, I'm not gonna spare you. The scene is rendered even more disturbing with that photograph of the happy couple in the back ground too I think.
Jack politely asks her to leave so she doesn't catch a glimpse of all thier super secret alien kit.
Swanson mutters that it was only A matter of Time as she turns to leave, and Jack's all "What was". You can tell he's affronted here because he's using his authoritative manly voice.
Oh yea? Well, Swanson thinks it's all Torchwood's (Specifically Captain Jack Harkness) fault, because they run around the city all willy nilly like they own it. So there!
So there's another thing that Jack can feel guilty about that's not really his fault. Just throw it right on top of the pile! Good times.
Owen thinks they've got a head start...because if it's somebody they've pissed off... *kaboom!* Sarcasm bomb.
And he's not even counting the aliens.
Tosh is back in the SUV doing computery things...namely trying to find a link between the victims and Torchwood. There is none that she can see, nor are they linked to each other.
The results on the DNA test are in! They are not helpful at all! The Dude is not in any of the databases!
In fact the only thing funny in the DNA is some foreign compound they've never seen before...or at least the police haven't.
Owen recognizes it instantly and let's out an "uh-Oh" Gwen asks the pertinent questions for all of us.
Compound #B67. RETCON.
Oh, shit!
Later, in the conference room, Owen tells us all about Retcon.
Gwen reminds us that Torchwood is the source for retcon and the only people that get it are the ones that they give it to.
Enter Ianto.
Owen ponders if the Serial Killer remembers he's a serial killer, or if the retcon has made him a serial killer.
But I've had Retcon! Gwen reminds us.
Jack glances over at Tosh then says that she'd better stay away from sharp objects! Hahaha, that's especially funny if you take into consideration episode three.
Gwen is all, 'C'mon guuyys!! I'm serious!'
Jack asks Ianto how many people they've doled out the amnesia pills too.
2,008.
Owen's all excited at the thought of all of them becoming psychotic! Wouldn't that be crazy!
And Tosh wonders why Owen's gotta sound so happy about it. It's because he's a boy, and he's only like, 15 in boy years.
Mean Streets! Teehee!
Time for orders!
Tosh: Go make a list. Check it twice!
Owen and Gwen: Find a link between the victims.
But wait! Instead of doing actual research...Gwen has a stellar idea! Ask the victims!
Jack says no, basically. He pretends like he doesn't know there's a resurrection gauntlet in his safe.
Well, since Gwen has the special ability of not being able to take a hint she asks about the glove anyway.
Both Jack and Owen think this is a terrible idea. Funny, that.
Gwen thinks it's a good idea though. Only for two minutes! C'mon guys!!!!
She's reminding Owen of a certain dead crazy ass former Torchwood employee.
No, mam. It's staying in the safe. Jack puts his foot down. Let's see how long it stays there.
The murders are happening because of Torchwood, says Gwen. (and we know this how? He could just be a totally crazy psycho killer who saw Torchwood written somewhere...like on an SUV and thought it sounded cool and would make a good signature for his psycho killing ways.)
Anyway, she tells Jack they've got to do something! Which is only slightly manipulative...because you know he already feels like a guilty jerk because Swanson called him as good as the murderer earlier in the episode.
So that didn't take long. Jack caves instantly. He explains how they found the glove in the bay 40 years ago.
I'm sure everybody except for Gwen (and the audience) already knows this.
Dun, Dun, Dun!!!! Jack thinks that whoever made it wanted to get rid of it...wouldn't that be counterproductive?
Owen says that they never gave it a "Cool" name.
Tosh wonders what exactly is wrong with the resurrection gauntlet? That's a pretty accurate description I'd say.
It's just not cool enough for Owen.
Ianto speaks. He suggests they call it the "Risen Mitten"
Jack's all, Say What Now?
Owen snickers, not even Tosh approves.
Like the Harwoods Haulage Jingle in Meat, Ianto thinks it's catchy.
Later, Gwen's powers have kicked in and she wants to know if Jack's okay. I'd say he's not okay with this whole thing at all, considering you guilt-tripped him into it, Gwen. He just gives her the evil eye instead of answering.
Victim #1.
Jack tosses a stopwatch over to Ianto and dons the mitten.
Jack reminds us that the max time limit is 2 minutes...but only 'cos Suzie had practice. Best they're likely to get is 30 seconds.
Tosh is somehow involved in this from her computer area. She's recording the action.
While Jack is busy with his resurrection face, Gwen wonders how the thing works.
It just feeeels. Like reaching in to the dark and finding the dead!
This kinda squicks Gwen out.
Jack just can't do it. The thing obviously doesn't run on the power of forgiveness and mad bossing skillz.
Owen doesn't want to even bother. He knows it won't work with him. Suzie was the only one who could ever get it to work.
Well what about newbie?
The guys react, and Jack hands over the glove.
It's cold!
Jack tells her it warms up. Then that the glove relies on some kind of empathy/compassion....
Well, Gwen has that in spades! Jack tells her to just be herself.
Here we go!
The only thing Alex wants is help.
Jack tries to get the dead guys attention, but he's too excited.
How long has it been? 15 seconds.
Alex wants to know who they hell they are, and Gwen says they're only trying to help.. Jack looks at her.
Now the only thing he wants to see is his Mum. The end. Well, at least Jack didn't tell him there was no afterlife before he went.
Gwen wants to keep trying. Has she gone Glove-Mad already?
Look at Harkness, Gwen!
This whole thing has got her really upset and determined.
Gwen has impressed Ianto. She's a natural at 24 seconds on her first try!
"Give Ianto a stopwatch and he's happy," says Owen.
"It's the button on top," is the reply. Then he looks directly at Jack like this. There you go, less than ten minutes in and Ianto is already thinking about all the dirty, filthy things he can do with a stopwatch RE: Jack.
Jack's mind is on business though. He wants to know Gwen's opinion, even though she's a bit shell-shocked at her first glove experience.
See. But she's not going to stop. Not when there are lives on the line.
Victim #2, Recording away at Tosh's computer.
Gwen identifies an apt analogy for how this thing works: It's like there is a rope from her heart to the glove.
Hey, Dead Mark! How's it goin?
He's way more calm than the last dude, so Jack can question him. Jack tells him to just look him in the eye.
Mark Brisco is like, What the fuck? What is this place?
Mark wants to know about his poor wife...Jack lies and says that they're looking after her, so how about who killed you?
It was that man! Very helpful. That man from Pilgrim...Ohh, that's slightly more helpful.
But what is Pilgrim Pray tell?
Mark remembers the murderer and his knife.
Thirty Five seconds passed! How long can the Coooper last?
His name was Max!
Tosh tries the internets, but she's getting nothing.
Jack is kind of desperately freaking out for info now that the time is ticking away and Mark is fading out...so he suggests asking a woman who knew Max a little better, A woman named Suzie.
Everybody snaps to attention at the sound of that.
Time! One minute five.
Tosh wants to know if she needs to clean out her ears, and Owen tries to play it off like there are zillions of people named Suzie who are batshit insane and carry around retcon.
Poor Gwen is over here with Glove cramps in her hand.
We've been talking to the wrong corpse says Jack.
And Gwen wonders if he's actually suggesting what she thinks he's suggesting.
Later Tosh hands out Pilgrim flyers. They're a support group. It was a tiny band of people who got together to debate stuff like the meaning of life and if God exists. Sounds like fun.
The flyers were handwritten and photocopied. That's why there was no online presence! Pffft!
Owen defends Suzie. She wouldn't do the support group thing.
Gwen thinks maybe it's exactly what Suzie would do when she needed someone to talk to.
Then Gwen wonders if any of them are even friends with each other. Who was Suzie's bestest Torchwood friend?
She kept to herself says Owen...Liar!
Jack thinks it's a good idea to check out Pilgrim...and actually it is. Kudos, Gwen.
The Torchmobile rolls up to an old Storage Unit. We learn how this works: When a Torchwood employee dies...they get to keep all their stuff.
That's the rules! But what about Rhys? Jack threatens to stick Rhys in a locker too.
Torch action! Jack says to respect Suzie's belongings.
All we are is a pile of boxes in the end says Tosh.
Tosh is all philosophical and depressing since the whole Mary business. And Jack...well, he'll never get to be a pile of boxes.
There's Suzie and her Dad. Gwen wonders if he's still alive.
Nobody knows. Suzie srcapped all her records when she went on the run. She was even better at computers than Tosh! In fact she was good at everything.
She was also good at Muuuuurder! Owen does not take murder lightly.
What is that? Gwen ponders what's going on over in Jack's business. He consults the cover as if he's never seen a book in his life...or to find out that what he's got in his hot little hands is a book of Emily Dickinson poetry.
Tosh finds the link between Suzie and Pilgrim.
So yeah...Uh, we're gonna have to bring her back now, guys.
Away to the Morgue!
Jack really doesn't want to open this can of worms, but what can you do?
There she is all frosty and ready to go.
The gang's all here, ready to raise Suzie from the dead!
Now that Gwen has come to the realization that Torchwood gets to keep all her crap when she dies...she wants to know if they're going to freeze her ass and keep her too.
That's the rules! For--EVER fooooor--EVERRR!
Gwen's all, that's what you think! If anybody can find a way to skirt rules and regulations it's Gwen.
Owen inquires after the stopwatch...Ianto always has his stopwatch!
Except for earlier when Jack had his stopwatch.
Tosh is going back to her desk now because this is all a bit much...and besides, she can't even look Suzie in the eye after what she did.
aaaawkward!
Jack would like to know if anybody else would like to bail now.
Not even Owen.
Gwen wants to know if the man who can't even get the damn thing to work has any advice for her.
And she means aside from reminding her to use her powers of empathy. She's totally over them right now, 'cos Suzie tried to kill her and stuff.
Me too! says Jack.
Here we go!
Gwen gets a lovely image of Jack getting shot in the head, and then Suzie blowing her own brains out.
But it's no use! Suzie's evil powers of madness are too strong! .
Also, she's been dead longer than most of the people they've brought back
Oh, well. So much for that idea, right, Jack?
But what about the knife! Haha! Thanks for that Owen, Jack didn't even want to start un-deadifying people in the first place.
Apparently the knife is made out of the same stuff as the glove. "Metallic Resonance" Tosh explains that maybe the glove will work better if the knife is involved...like completing a circuit.
Gwen, like Nike, thinks they should just do it.
Jack reminds her that Suzie is already dead.
Kill her again! I never liked her in the first place!
Don't look so vexed Jack. You're the one who hired her because she's such a stubborn ass.
The knife emerges from the sealed archives.
For some reason Owen grants Ianto naming right...probably for sheer amusement at what will come out of his mouth next.
This requires careful thought and consideration. Ianto dubs it the "Life Knife".
Life knife it is!
Jack tries to get it working by taking a slice out of Suzie's arm..but nothing.
Gwen has had enough of this pussy-footing around. She wants Jack to stab a bitch.
Owen urges him on too, so there's only one thing left for it...
He plunges the knife into her chest and Suzie gasps awake!
And Go!
Jack finally commands Suzi's attention after we whirl around Cold Storage for a while.
Suzie's a bit freaked by the giant knife in her chest and thinks Jack killed her, but he reminded her that she done it to herself.
Jack asks about Pilgrim but Suzie's distracted because now she remembers that she shot him right between the eyes. He never minds her. So, about that Pilgrim?
Gwen, bloody, Cooper is using the glove Suzie comes to find out.
Thirty Seconds!
Gwen is working really hard on her empathy right now while Jack grills Suzie about Max.
Suzie is angry because Jack brought her back to ask about Max. Jack is angry because Suzie is being obstinate and not answering his questions.
Suzie is fading out now, and Gwen is trying to grab hold of her...Jack says not to force it. Do you wanna take bets on if she's going to listen to him this time?
Wise choice. She forces it then goes flying backwards. Jack is yelling at her because she didn't listen to him, so Owen has to go over and give her a little comfort and check her vital signs to make sure she's ok. How 'bout a hand helping to move Gwen to a more comfy spot?
A hand you say? Haha! Jack doles out his, I told you we shouldn't have used the damn glove! They get hooked on it, like crack.' s Owen tell's Jack to chill. It's all over and done with.
Ianto has to interrupt now, because...he's still counting.
Owen thinks this is kinda pointless now.
Ianto's like, Check again, Doctor Smartass.
Jack gets ready with some more, I told you sos, because this shit should not be happening.
OMG! Ianto was right. Suzie is merely unconscious.
There she is. Here eyes moving beneath her lids.
Jack tries removing the knife...but that's a no-go.
So what now, Team?
Suzie's now in interrogation with a giant gaping wound in the back of her head. Yowch!
Tosh and Owen watch the proceedings from upstairs.
Suzie wants to know how long. 3 months.
Suzie says she wishes that they would just leave her alone and let her be dead.
Well, no. That's not in the cards, because we don't really know what the hell we're doing. Welcome back, Suze!
Suzie wants to know if she's going to stay like this forever.
Gwen rips another page out of Jack's book of tricks and says that she doesn't know.
Suzie wants to see dad now, and Jack just shoots that idea right out of the water.
Gwen tries to mitigate Jack's hard-assness by telling Suzie that they don't know where her father is. So how can Suzie visit?
Suzie acts like this is a distressing turn of events...Dad doesn't even know she's dead then? Way to pour grease on the fire, Gwen.
but you're not dead now! Says Gwen. So never mind!
Suzie thinks this is sick!!! Sick I tell you!
Jack passes the buck to Suzie and tells her that she started it! So Hah!
So how about that Pilgrim??? Which one of these pictures is the retconned up Max?
What did Max do???
Retcon induced Muuuurder!
Suzie wants to know how many victims so Gwen can get in a little dig at her expence: Three! Just like you!
The disembodied voice of Owen chimes in. He wants to know how much retcon. Suzie just wants to know why he isn't down there asking face to face.
She frightnes the shit out of him!
And Tosh won't even talk to her.
But Owen's had enough of the reminicing...Amnesia pills please? One a week. Every Week. For Two years.
Jack wants to know why!!!!!!??
To Find Out Why : Part Two!
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