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Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary...

Torchwood
Series 1 Episode 7
Greeks Bearing Gifts

Back by Popular Demand. It has been requested that I go back and make captions for all of season one, so here I am. With two seasons worth of Spin. I'm not even going to pretend that this recap covers only my first viewing of this episode ever. So Big fat Giant Organic Spoilers all the way up to 2 x 12. Heed this warning, and no bitching. Like anybody reads this shiz anyway

It's a foggy night over at the BBC, where I have decided that I need a break from the Doctor Who action this week...who knows, maybe I will pretend like I'm only a week behind because I'm in the states...Yeah, that's it.

This isn't Doctor Who though. This is Torchwood. Torchwood, where everything is crazy and we have Victorian Hookers. I love you Torchwood!

Anyway, meet Mary, like the Virgin. She's going to deflower this soldierboy right here in the woods.

Or not. He doesn't really like her blaspheming while she's unbuttoning his pants so he slaps the hell out of her.

I think dude needs to chill out. Last time I checked, you pay for the whore, right? They don't just take you out back willy nilly and take your pants off for fun.

Well, Mary isn't going to put up with his shit anyway, so she scratches the crap out of his face and tells him she's not one of his hounds.

So she runs away and he runs after her, yelling "Whooooore" as he goes.

We hear it before we see it...there's a loud screeching noise.

Hmmm, what has Mary stumbled across here in Old Tyme Cardiff?

We don't know, but apparently it's way more inviting than this dude, because she runs right for it.

Soldier boy gets his gun out, but is startled by a bright light off in the distance.

Clearly he has a death wish because he goes to investigate. He finds Mary.

"Do Whores have prayers," he askes. What kind of a question is that?

Mary seems utterly amused by his clunky dialog and puny weapon.

Cut to present times where we find the Torchmobile rollin' up to a construction site.

Hey, look who it is! (I'll give you a hint: It's Mary.)

Ah, so the reason Torchwood has been called: A dead body unearthed.

Instead of a dead body under the tent, Jack wishes he would one day find a party...the kind with food and drinks and dancing and a girl crying in the corner. Has he been watching John Hughes movies again?

That's a nice thought, Jack, but what about this alien thing?

Gwen asks if he knows what it is, and as per usual, Jack does not.

It could be a weapon he says, or a really big stapler. Really? A Stapler? One has to wonder what the hell kind of staplers Jack has been working with over the years.

Factoids: Owen thinks the skeleton is a woman. She's been burried for 196 years.

Gwen wants to know if the stapler killed her. Then she exchanges wtf? Stapler? looks with Jack as he grins at her.

Owen thinks she was shot, due to the hole in the chest and everything. Clearly, this is not the doings of any intergalactic stapler.

Gwen calls Owen light like a girl as she helps him out of the hole and laughs her head off at her own Joke. Owen says that he's "Wirey"

Tosh isn't exactly pleased with this sudden comraderie.

Owen reminds Gwen and everybody else that he's sleeping with Gwen. And Tosh pretends like she doesn't know what's going on.

Later, Gwen and Owen are horsing around by the computers...Tosh is displeased. Ianto, manages to be in a scene he's not actually in, like always.

Right so, Owen tells Tosh that her computer may or may not be broken...why? because he wanted to prove to Gwen he was good at football and bla bla bla....The short story is that he kicked the plug out of the machine. Haha! Sorry Tosh!

Cleary, Tosh is pissed off. See, she was running this totally awesome translation program and was analyzing every scrap of alien language they have to see if any of them have a common root...that's interesting stuff people.

Gwen's eyeballs get all big, because...when has Tosh ever been this irritated?

Owen says Tosh's explanation was a bit of a mouthful, and both he and Gwen giggle it up...which is kind of a jerky thing to do in front of Tosh.

Gwen explains that it was a stupid private joke...aaaand now we know that not only was it a jerky thing to laugh about in front of Tosh...but it was also a joke RE: Owen, Gwen, and blowjobs. Thanks for that!

Tosh is not amused.

For some reason Tosh thinks that they're proffesionals here at Torchwood three...

And Owen's all like, "What is wrong with Tosh? I only ruined several hours of her hard work."

Gwen, being the heart and all, capitulates soon enough and says she's sorry.

Owen on the other hand? Well he thinks the stick up Tosh's butt has a stick up it's own butt...which opens up a whole conversation about whether or not sticks have butts...but that's a topic for another day. Also, Owen's kind of being a douche right now.

Tosh is still finding it hard to be amused by any of this.

I don't think I've done one of these before...let's all have a look at Cardiff. Oooo, ahhhh!

Tosh is drowning her sorrows in some fancy pants bar with a glass of white wine.

What's this? It's Mary! She's come over to Tosh under the pretense that she's trying to get rid of some skeevy dude.

Mary is a bad girl, she's been barred from a bunch of pubs already for punching out skeevy dudes.
She offers to buy Tosh a drink, and oops, she knows Tosh's name. This is highly suspicious.

Mary doesn't mince words though...she tells Tosh that she knows who she is.

Tosh doesn't believe her but Mary's got all her stats...Born in London, 1975, Moved to Japan when she was 2, back to London in 1986. Parents were in the RAF...etc, etc, etc...Mary is impressed.

Out of all the things on the list, Tosh wants to know how Mary knows about Torchwood first and foremost...Because she just saw her stepping out of an SUV with Torchwood plastered all over it that very morning?

Well there is that...and the internets. Gotta love the internets.

Right, so Mary knows all about Torchwood because she's part of a group of 'scavengers' Like Torchwood, they also collect weevils and bollocks and shit. Tosh would like to know exactly how many of them are there?

Well, Mary just says that's it's in no way organized...just a bunch of geeks who live in thier mother's basements...and Tosh...she doesn't think she should be talking to this Mary chick at all.

Mary offers her an out...but Tosh is feeling loney right now, and the dude she has a crush on is doing Gwen, and making fun of the stick up her arse...it's been a rough day, and Mary has caught her at a weak point.

God knows how many glasses of wine later, and Tosh is telling Mary everything about Torchwood. It can't spill out of her lips fast enough...why? Because Mary is listening.

Oh, yeah, and what else is Tosh talking about? War. What is it good for? She has come to the conclusion that War isn't only a trait of Earth culture...but a trait of existance. That's a cheery thought.

But then there was that alien letter from some dude to his family that made Tosh cry...so it's not all candy and roses, but it's not a war and weaponry either.

Poor Tosh doesn't have anybody to geek out with at work. Ianto's too busy making coffee, Jack is standing on roofs and Owen and Gwen...they just don't see it like Tosh does.

Tosh worries about being fired...but Mary wants to show her something...a pendant.

Tosh puts the necklace on and suddenly she can hear voices.

Peoples thoughts it is, says Mary.

Tosh can barely handle it. Some guy in the corner is wondering if she's having a fit...if Mary is her girlfriend and deciding that she's hot. Then he contemplates the mechanics of girl on girl on guy action.

Tosh has to focus on Mary's voice now, because the voices are making her a little crazy in the head right now.

Mary gives her a tutorial on how to home in on one persons thoughts.

Mary is thinking that she would like to kiss Tosh now. This is the thought that causes Tosh to yank the necklace off finally. Mary appologizes, sometimes she just can't control the thoughts.

Mary tells Tosh that it's a family heirloom, and that it can make you totally godlike. She gives it to tosh.

Tosh isn't exactly giddy with the thought.

Well, if she's going to keep it then she'll have to show it to the rest of the team.

But Mary thinks this is hilarious, because once the thoughts start rollin' in...then there's no way Tosh's going to give it up.

Tosh thinks Mary is totally bonkers. Of course she can resist the power of the pendant! She totally will resist it...Mary still thinks otherwise because she knows the pendant and it's wiley ways.

Let's take a gander at Torchwood's crack security again. Ianto isn't around, and all Tosh has to do is reach around the desk and hit the giant red button.

Well, Tosh is acting all shifty with the necklace...pondering whether or not to put it on, Ianto comes right out of the secret door as soon as it opens as if he were waiting there. He's smiling. That means he's happy right?

Tosh hides the necklace behind her as Ianto bids her a cheery good morning, like he's going to know what the crap it is anyway.

And even though Tosh has promised to be a good girl and turn the goods over to Jack, she just can't help herself. As we'll find out later, Tosh is damn lucky she scampered into the hub as soon as she puts it on and doesn't stick around to hear Ianto's thoughts.

Down in the Hub Owen says hi, and secrety hopes Tosh doesn't start bitching about her computer again. Gwen...she wants to put a weevil in somebody's bathrobe.

Tosh valiantly tries to do the right thing, but she picked the wrong workmates to share with...their errant thoughts are less than receptive to her...Owen doesn't want to sit through a boring slideshow.

Gwen would like to pee first. In her mind though, she is judging Tosh's fashion sense, and thinks her boots jeans combo is totally played out.

Owen thinks Tosh is wierd, while at the same time wondering what she would be like in bed.

Gwen isn't paying attention. She has Owen smell on her. Y'know after they had a shag in the car that morning. She also debates whether or not they have an "arangement" if they've only done it two times.

And Owen thinks about Gwen's mad tongue skills and regrets his choice of trousers.

Gwen pretends to want to hear what Tosh has to say out loud, but she's thinking about getting Owen down to vault so she can have her way with him...but the idea of doin it in front of weevils kind of squicks her out. I think it's a safe bet it squicks us all out...except for maybe...nevermind.

Tosh really wants to tell them, but is so bummed out about all this weevil sex talk that she plays it off like she wanted to show them some boring old article.

To which Owen says, in his mind, thank heavens for small miracles. Spared another boring Tosh lecture.

Poor Tosh had no idea that they all thought she was boring...well, Owen anyway. Gwen's thoughts are too preoccupied with fashion and shagging Owen to fit anything else in there.

Later...and coincidentally, Haha, Tosh is reading about Philoctetes.

Ianto appears because where there is shit to clean up, Ianto can be found. He's clearing out some old coffee cups and whatnot. Then he starts a'thinkin' and it's NOT about coffee.

He fills Tosh's head with lovely imagery of his stomach full of rats and the whole of his exitance being filled with pain every moment of the day.

Even though his brain is filled with the most depressing thoughts ever, he cheerfully offers to get Tosh a cup of coffee. She insists that she's good, and is kind of choked up about it.

Ianto makes the face! Only pointing it out because it doesn't appear with the frequency it does in series 2.

Tosh Yanks the necklace off at this point.

So, Mary, the pendant's power is indeed strong...but Ianto's mystical powers of buzzkillery are stronger.

Tosh finds Mary loitering outside her apartment, and boy is Tosh angry.

She reveals that Mary was right...she didn't tell, then she storms away to her place and leaves the door unlocked so Mary can trot right in after her.

Mary wants to know why Tosh didn't tell...then guesses the reason, she listened to them. Mary thinks it's incredible! Yay!

And Tosh is all, 'take your stupid pendant back, biatch!'

Mary just cannot believe that Tosh doesn't think this thing is awesome. Well, she doesn't have an Owen,a Gwen and a Ianto to listen to, does she?

Tosh is really upset about what Owen and Gwen really think about her. Curses on the pendant! They're supposed to like her after all!

They do, says Mary. Sometimes they just think crappy things, 'cos they're complicated like that. Haha! Should'a warned you, Tosh!

Mary tells Tosh that the things she hears are burried so deep down that the people thinking them don't even know it themselves.

Tosh doesn't care. They're still thinking it and that in itself is upsetting. They're like little kids!

Not everybody is, says Mary.

She puts the necklace on Tosh so that her thoughts may be heard.

Mary is thinking naughty, naughty things about Tosh. We don't get to hear them, though.

Tosh; however, cannot concentrate on Mary's dirty, dirty thoughts. She's still caught up with Owen and Gwen, who she thinks pity her.

But Mary doesn't pity her.

and now Tosh is thinking dirty thoughts too.

Tosh lets us know that she's enjoying whatever's going on in that mind of hers that we're not hearing, and Mary tells her that she would, and will continue to enjoy it as the evening progresses.

Well, all these sexy thoughts can't stay put in their brains forever, can they?

Flash forward to Tosh looking a bit regretfull.

Mary's in her rob lamenting the lack of an ashtray.

Mary wonders if Tosh is freaking out a little. Looks like she's freaking out a lot.

Mary finds a card on the bedside table from Owen that Tosh has kept since her birthday in July.

Tosh doesn't like Mary messing with her stuff RE: Owen. She's still gonna have a crush on him whether he's a jerk to her in his thoughts or not.

Mary laughs it up as Tosh refuses to talk about her non-thing with Owen. Isn't the first time this girl's been a rebound shag. Tosh reappears all robed up telling Mary that she's no rebound since nothing's happening with Owen.

Or every will, Tosh has found out, thanks to the pendant of Dooooom. Mary has her right where she wants her now.

Mary picks the pendant up and tells Tosh it isn't all bad.

Tosh so does not believe this shit.

Sometime later, Tosh is wandering aimlessly around Cardiff at Mary's urging to use the pendant some place public. Tosh wonders what she's looking for and Mary tells her that "It" will find her.

Tosh is finished with all these riddles. She demands to know who Mary really is.

another name: Philoctetes.

These crowd shots are interspersed with seens of Mary and Tosh in the bedroom chatting by the way.

Tosh puts the necklace on in the crowd.

Tosh hears many insane thoughts here:

There's a woman forging signatures.

A man who wears his wifes clothing when she isn't around.

A woman who feels bad about her saggy boobs.

A woman who has smoked 6 cigaretts...after having sex 6 times.

Some dude with fantasies of being James Bond

A lady who is griping in her mind about people who shouldn't wear thongs.

Then there is this guy. Who's got Muuuuurder! on his mind. He's running through the whole plan in his head...so, yes, this is the guy that Tosh is going to follow.

Here he is! Come to call on his nagging ex-wife, who is going to get remaried.

The kid doesn't even want to go with psycho dad here. He thinks it's boring.

Crazy dude remembers the good times.

Mom pleads for their lives meanwhile.

Tosh to the rescue!!! She brains Crazy dude on the back of the head with a golf club.

So Gwen and Owen are horsing around in Cold Storage now. Gwen is singing the knee bone is connected to the thigh bone etc...song. Owen is throwing shit at her. Jack, showing his mad leadership skillzzz, is laughing his ass off at them, and Owen is throwing shit at him too.

La, la, la, la, la, Owen can't heaaaar you.

Tosh dares to enter the fray and also gets some shit thrown at her. What's going on she asks.

Turns out the skeleton is a maaan!

A very young and girl man, Owen defends himself.

Gwen thinks the fact that Owen's first hunch was wrong is totally hilarious by the way. Turns out it wasn't a gunshot wound to the chest after all.

Unidentified trauma: Something like a post or something entering the body at a high velocity.

Gwen is layin' the abuse on a bit thick here, but she's totally adorable while doing it so...take that, Owen! Jack is still way too amused by the whole thing.

So, Tosh is going to grill Jack about Greek Mythology, specifically Philoctetes, even though he's on a call, that requires secuirty clearance and everything.

Tosh plays it off as some question from a pub quiz...Jack is astounded at the notion that Tosh would attend a pub quiz.

Speaking of laying it on thick...Tosh LOVES pub quizes! She thinks they're awesome!!!

So Philoctetes...an archer recruited to fight in the Trojan war, got in an argument, and was marooned on an island for ten years.

Jack wants to know what's going on with that list for UNIT. Whatever that is, Tosh is still working on it. Whenever you're ready, he says, which basically means: Get your ass back to work, Tosh. Then the prime Minister picks up.

Later, Tosh is having lunch with Mary, who thinks that her mad Murder thwarting skills are awesome and that she should be an action figure!

And Tosh now sees the awesomness in the pendant.

So Tosh admits that she still hasn't spilled on the pendant to the team yet...Mary thinks this is wise.

And Now she has to kiss Tosh because that's the rules.

Ahh, but now we get down to the heart of the matter...Mary wants to know about the stapler.

Mary is not pleased to find out that Jack is dealing with the stapler, and Tosh is compiling lists of whatever for UNIT.

Mary wants to know where the secretary is. He's busy making coffee, that's where he is. Tosh is all, this list business is harder than it sounds...and Mary pumps her hard for info on the stapler.

Mary thinks it's strange that Jack doesn't share his special projects with the rest of the team, but Tosh is quite okay with it.

Mary tries to pass it off as Jack keeping deep dark secrets from his staff...well, sure, but not regarding the stapler.

Tosh checks in on Owen and the Man-boy-lady skelleton, which was totally not shot.

Owen has thought of a few theories for the wound...ritual killing maybe? And he calls Tosh gorgeous for bringing him coffee...obviously she has set aside the whole arse stick/Tosh is boring and wierd conversation/thoughts from earlier and is quite pleased with the compliment.

Owen is now going to go back through the ages and see if he can find any similar wounds on record. Good idea, Owen.

Now he's on about the crazy shit that went down back in Ye Olden Tymes...the one thing they didn't do was pluck out each other's hearts.

Tosh wonders why he even cares what happened to Mr. Skeleton anyway...the murderer is obviously dead by now, right? RIGHT?

For those of you who wondered what Owen's badges say...(I used to have a UK Subs pin! Hahah!) Anyway, he's not quite sure why he cares either, but asks Tosh if the wound reminds her of anything.

It reminds her of ALIEN. If I hadn't seen this before, this would be where I hope there aren't any chest-bursty aliens running around.

Owen rephrases the question: Does it remind you of anything HELPFUL?? Hehe! Tosh laughs it off for the joke that it is. (Now, Owen, It might have been helpful if there were Chest-bursty aliens afoot, wouldn't it!)

Owen sends her away to do something more Tosh centric...like mess around on her computer, or think about shoes, but she stops and asks him if Jack has mentioned the stapler.

Owen says no, but clearly Tosh thinks he is lying because she throws the necklace on in hopes of a real answer.

But Owen doesn't care about the stapler at all...he's still thinking about ways to figure out what happened to girlie McGuyerson.

Also how Tosh put too much sugar in his coffee. She finds this endearing.

Uh-Oh, here comes trouble! Owen and Gwen are thinking like a couple of schoolkids. He tries very hard not to ogle her, and she is disappointed at the lack of ogling and wonders whatever she did wrong.

And Tosh is like, Omigod! Get me out of here! Because Owen's thoughts have turned completely over to Gwensex.

Out loud they are talking about some guy who sees Cybermen outside his house, but Gwen and her pencil topper are alternately happy that Owen's not checking her out and really pissed off about it.

Tosh says her desk is on fire, so full of disgust is she with Gwen/Owen thoughts flying around the room.

She catches sight of the stapler hanging out in the weapons room, so maybe this is the perfect time to check out what Jack has been up to.

Jack has just returned from where he was conversing with some detective about Tosh's miraculous life saving abilites from earlier in the episode.

And this detective has the biggest hands that Jack has ever seen...this is for Vena, so she can appreciate the sheer magnatude of this mysterious detective's hands if indeed they are the bigest hands that Jack has ever seen.

Tosh is in it deep now...how is she going to explain this one?

I was going to tell you, but it wasn't work related so, Haha! My bad.

Tosh is like, shit happens, all the time! Jack, so totally doesn't believe this.

You apprehend murdering bad guys all the time? A dubious Jack wonders.

Tosh didn't want it to look like she was showing off. That's the new reason she didn't tell, because Jack doesn't believe the first one.

Well, Jack gives her an out and explains the "official reason" she was able to do what she did...she heard the guy muttering on the street...which isn't all that far from the truth really.

Jack thinks that is totally wierd for a murderer to be strolling around muttering his murdering plan for murder out loud for the general populous to hear. He would never ever do such a thing

Tosh agrees, but what can you do? This must've been a stupid murder. Tosh takes this moment to ask about the stapler, apparently it doesn't sink in that Jack is totally on to her mind reading necklace at this point. (So says I!)

The investigation is ongoing says Jack. Dude, he's on to you Tosh.

Tosh thinks maybe a little mind reading powerz might help things along a little bit, since Jack is clearly not talking.

Well, if he wasn't onto you before he is now. He can totally tell someone is trying to mind probe his brain or whatever.

Of course, Jack is a blank slate, which surprises the hell out of Tosh so much she whips around to look at him.

He's all, "What? Is there something on my face?"

Really, what is wrong with my boss?

Jack compliments her on saving those people and she looks a bit scared of him now.

Jack's got his eye on you now, Tosh.

Later on, Tosh in the darkness of her own home. Mary has a key now.

Speaking of Mary, Tosh tells her that she's giving up the pendant. She can't handle it any more.

Well, Mary doesn't look to happy about that.

The whole thing makes Tosh feel dirty, and she doesn't like spying on her friends.

Mary tries to remind Tosh about how they all pity her, and whatnot.

But Tosh has made up her mind! She dosn't care that Jack has her making a list and checking it twice.

Tosh thinks it'll be alright. They'll just talk to Mary about the pendant...that's all their interested in...she'll call the boss, it's all good!

At the mention of calling Jack, Mary pretty much flips out and her deep dark alien voice comes out. She's going to show Tosh why she can't tell Torchwood.

This is what Mary really looks like.

Well, aint that a kettle of jellyfish?

Of course, Tosh is a little stunned at this turn of events. Didn't see that one coming.

She reaches out to the creature. It's cold.

So I'm shagging a woman an and alien! Says Tosh. Mary wonders which is worse, and Tosh knows what her parents would say.

Tosh wonders what other secrets Mary can hide in her thougths. Secrets other than being an alien? What could be bigger than that?

She thinks humans enjoy an obscene amount of freedom.

Mary's homeworld was not so kind. Dissent of any kind = death.

As for the pendant that's how her people communicate. Oral speech is so beneath them.

The stapler is actually a transport! Mary needs it to get home.

Apparently Mary was banished from her world...or escaped using the transport, but is fully confident that it was too long ago for the current government to even care about her anymore. Tosh is concerned for her welfare still.

Tosh, ever hopeful, thinks that Torchwood is going to help her out of this little Jam.

Mary shoots this idea down. She doesn't want to be locked away in a cell and examined. Though I'm sure Owen would love to examine her.

She tells Tosh that the human race is a culture of invasion, and there's no way she's going willfully into Torchwood.

Tosh walks along later, hearing peoples thoughts, and it's driving her a little mad. Eventually she rips the necklace off again.

Meanwhile, Owen contemplats the skeleton.

He's about to leave for the day when something catches his eye...I have no idea what though. He jsut can't get a moments rest until he solves this mystery.

While Owen is doing this, Tosh is talking to Mary who is on a chair while Tosh is in bed. She can't stand it anymore! Peoples thoughts.

Have we done one of these yet? Jack stands on a roof.

As Tosh waxes on and on about how the pendant and society is getting her down and filling her up with a big pot of angst...Owen hits pay dirt! He's found victims with similar wounds!

Their hearts have all been removed!

Tosh feels cursed.

Mary watches Tosh. Haha, Jack looks dashing against the night sky and another clock tower or something.

This whole Pendant business has made Tosh lose all hope in humanity and whatnot. Not even random acts of kindness can make her feel better anymore.

Inside, we're all screaming weevils!

Owen thinks whatever he's looking at his impossible, and he calls up Jack.

Jack answers the Call as Tosh tells us that Mary was right about the human race...it's frightened and callous, basically we're just horrible and Tosh doesn't want to be a part of it anymore.

She asks Mary what to do about it? Her answer? "Get me into Torchwood"

Your command is my wish, Mary.

Uh-Oh! The stapler is gone!

She gets all hands with Tosh and tells her not to go far because she might need a snack before she heads on her way. Do you get where the whole, Missing hearts / maryalien thing is going now?

Jack appears on the catwalk with the stapler!

Jack is going to tell one of his I knew a Guy Stories while the girls look up at him.

So there was this guy...his name was Vince, and he started acting wierd one day! Suddenly, he disappears for a few months and comes back Vanessa! haha!

The girls wonder where the hell exactly this story is going, since obviously, Tosh has not had a sex change.

Oh, the point! There was a point after all, Jack is always a bit nervous when a friend behaves out of character!

Jack introduces Mary and tells her that he guesses she's not from around these parts in a fakey fake southern accent.

As for the stapler, Jack thinks it's totally awesome. He asks if they know what it is.

A transporter says Tosh. Mary was a prisoner who was exiled...

Not quite! How 'bout the real story, Mary?

No? Well, Jack will be happy to supply it!

It's a two man transport...two squid transport, or whatever. Room for a prisoner and a guard. Mary did away with the gaurd. Mary isn't too fussed about murdering the alien gaurd.

She got interrupted though: Flashback time! This cap takes place back in the day.

Mary the victorian hooker has an unfortunate run in with an alien.

Then she explains how she killed soldier boy...there's absolutely no remorse in this girl.

Flasback! So, Do whores have prayers?

Maybe, Maybe not...but they can rip your heart out.

And she's been doing it ever since, Owen supplies us with the end of the story. He's actually really upset about it.

Mary's all, I'm an alie, give me a break? I had to eat something.

Also, she totally loves the body she found. Couldn't let that go to waste, right?

Ianto's face says "No" but his eyebrow says "Yes!"

Hey there's Gwen! She's listening attentively as we're being expositioned to death by Mary. Blabla, the transport was burried, the forest were gone...

Jack needs a little more clarification on the fact that Mary has been killing people ever since she landed in Cardiff.

While all this lip flapping is going on, Tosh dons the necklace.

Gwens thoughts: Mary is like a wild animal the way she looks with her eyes.

Owen has experience with one of the heartless victims! He'd only been a doctor for six months when one came in, and it almost made him hurl.

Back to what Mary and Jack are discussing: She was safe until the machine was uncovered! Haha!

She could Feeeel it as soon as it came to light.

Owen has got plans to take Mary unawares while she is yap, yap, yapping away.

Owen takes one step, Toshiko shouts at him not to do it, and Mary zooms into the weapons room, grabs a knife and...

takes Tosh hostage.

Mary tells Tosh to get the team to give up the transporter, or she dies.

Owen thinks it's ridiculous...they are unarmed.

Ianto thinks...not again.

Gwen thinks...Dayum! look at that blade, it'll rip Tosh's throat out. I bet Tosh was really happy to hear that one.

Mary wants to exchange Tosh for Gwen! Brains Vs. Heart! Owen doesn't like this idea.

Gwen's all, ????

Mary tries to get Tosh back on her side because Owen didn't want to switch Tosh for Gwen...he figures out that Mary can read minds.

Gwen hasn't figured it out. She dosn't know what just happened really.

Jack asseses the situation.

and Mary, she is still trying to turn Tosh against the team.

Mary's all, "I still love you, Tosh, even though I've got a knife at your throat, would not hesitate to use it, and was even planning on eating your heart at earlier."

Jack lets Tosh into his brain thoughts. He tells her not to do anything until he says so.

Jack is goin to trade Tosh for the transporter!

Gwen thinks about her police training RE: Hostage Situations. She can't remember a damn thing though.

Owen is aghast that Jack is just going to trade up and let the alien bitch get away with this shit.

Trade Up it is. She lets Tosh free and Tosh...runs directly into Ianto's arms even though Owen is standing right in front of her.

There you go, Mary. Happy now?

Mabye, but she takes a moment to tell Jack that he smells funny.

Jack makes a joke about British dentistry.

What are you, you big wierdo, Mary wonders.

Jack doesn't have an anser for that at this point in time. Mary thinks he's being a hypocrit.

The stapler suddenly turns on, and this isn't Mary's doing because she doesn't know what the hell is happening.

Oh, Jack just set it to enable.

Ta-ta, Mary!

Gwen watches with sad eyes.

and the rest of the gang.

Tosh wants to know if Mary has gone home. Really, she should know by now that Jack isn't that nice.

See. He reset the co-ordinates!

Where?

The Middle of the SUN. Jack tries to make a joke about it not being hot on the sun in the middle of the night.

Tosh doesn't see the humor though. She states that he killed her.

And he's all, YES! And that's the last word on this situation from Jack. He leaves them all there with a whole heap of awkwardness.

Gwen's empathy eyes are working overtime.

While Toshiko gently weeps.

Later Owen wants Gwen to ask Tosh if she heard their thoughts...the ones about all the sexin'. Gwen says she will, but she wants to give Tosh a little time. She's the heart and all, she can't just come right out and ask now! That wouldn't be proper. There's a really nice shot of the sweet dragon Mural too.

meanwhile there's a conversation going on in the conference room that would be a hell of a lot more interesting than Owen and Gwen worrying about people catching onto their affair.

Owen is really freaked out about Tosh being privvy to his innermost thoughts...considering that most of them have to do with Gwen and the contents of his trousers, I'd be a little freaked out too.

So much for waiting...Tosh emerges from her chat with Ianto and Gwen at least tries to be diplomatic about it: When did you have this ability she asks.

A couple of days says Tosh. Owen just point blank asks her what she heard.

Tosh plays it off, but Owen isn't buying. She says what she heard was none of her business.

One out of One Owens Agree.

Tosh and Gwen don't really know how to feel about each other now.

Gwen says she can't take the moral high ground on this one...That's right, she said it. Out loud. To Tosh. She tries to explain the thing with Owen..

Tosh is just like, please stop talking, Gwen. I was wrong and I don't want to hear about it anymore, you can go back to sneakign around please.

Tosh tells Gwen that she is sorry, and that she has to live with what she did to all of them. End of story.

And Gwen wants to know, what about HER betrayal...wait, wait...does Gwen want Tosh to forgive her for cheating on Rhys with Owen??? or to console her, or tell her it's alright?

Tosh is like, What are you talking about, woman?

Gwen says she's living with her betrayal. Look, there he is now!

Then Gwen says that she knows she is wrong, she knows she should stop, but she won't. How about them apples? I have no idea what this has to do with Tosh, but apparently Gwen just has to blurt it out to somebody, and since Tosh already knows...

Anyway, Gwen wants to know what that says about her character... That she needs some serious counsling?

Tosh says she has no room to judge.

Ooo, wait, here comes the point: Gwen can't judge Tosh's actions either, because what she's doing is just as bad, or possible worse. There you go!

Thanks for that pep-talk, Gwen. Toshiko walks away.

But Gwen's not done...she has one more thought, but then thinks she maybe doesn't want to share it after all.

Now Tosh is curious though.

Well, Gwen tells Tosh not to give up on love! Because love makes Tosh a happy girl.

This also doesn't particularly raise Tosh's spirites either.

Later Tosh and Jack are hanging out...on a bench in front of the millenium centre.

Tosh marvels at the power of the pendant. Jack is not impressed.

While Tosh discusses the possible neffarious uses of such a device...like taking out armies and tearing down governments...Jack is smirking at passers by.

She wonders what Torchwood is going to do with it...and Jack gives the decision to her.

It's a curse! Tosh decides, and crunches it under her boot.

Tosh wants to knwo why she couldn't read Jack's mind.

Jack says he doesn't know, but he could feel her in there trying...she says it felt like he was dead. Ooo, that's a little close to home. Let's not forget that only Gwen knows about his immortality.

Oh, and since it is getting a little close to home, Jack is going to change the subject to work...He wants that list on his desk tomorrow!

Jack's Mad leadership skillz rear their heads again when he asks Tosh for advice on what bosses do with squirly employees like Tosh? Well, regular bosses anyway.

Do they get to beat people! Hahaha! Workplace beatings! Hilarious!

One last thing. It has to do with why Mary gave Tosh the pendant. She said 'after a while the pendant changes the way you see people. It gets to you.' Tosh wants to know how she lives with it.

Jack doesn't really have an answer for this, all he says is that what Tosh saw was a snapshot, but that doesn't really make her feel better, especially since she came to the conclusion that the whole world was pretty crap.