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Torchwood
Captain Jack Harkness
Season 1, Episode 12
Hey, look! Not only do we have adverts for the infamous Super Club...which is only infamous in my mind, because these fliers are always in the background...but Vote Saxon!
what? Wait, Torchwood? Right...Tosh is all dressed up to go to her grandfather's 88th birthday which is a big deal that somehow involves rice, but first a quick pop in to a creepy abandoned building on some Torchwood business with Jack. Nothing can go wrong with this scenario, right?
So, Tosh informs us that people have been reporting music coming from the clearly empty Ritz dance hall here. And it's 1940's tunes, so it's not some random squatters, or kids out for a good time...Unless it's old WWII veteran squatters out for a good time.
Jack hears the music, and naturally he already thinks this is the most awesome case to cross his desk in a long while.
So Jack sweeps Toshiko off her feet and takes her for a whirl around the dance floor while reminiscing about the old times. Tosh is more worried about the state of her laptop with all this whirling though.
And then Tosh runs away from him, because she's clearly a little bit frightened and confused with this new playful side of Jack
Just when they're about to leave, the music kicks up again even louder than it was before. This time even Tosh hears it.
The empty ballroom they just left is now teeming with people dancing around and having a swell old time.
Tosh thinks they're very realistic looking ghosts, but Jack's wrist strap tells him otherwise.
It's just a temporal shift! To the 1940's? Jack squees.
Tosh is a lot more worried about it though. She doesn't want to stick around in WWII era Cardiff.
And Bilis Manger, in his debut, wishes Jack would call again. Jack would love to, of course, because the forties are awesome!!
Outside it has gone from daytime to nighttime.
And things are looking a bit different than they did earlier. Tosh freaks out about the SUV being stolen.
But it's not the SUV they have to worry about.
Fast Forward in time to the Hub, where Owen is taking a nap and there is beeping.
The beeping wakes our dear little Owen up and he's greeted with a blurry eyed vision of Ianto.
Well the beeping would be Tosh's rift monitor program alerting Ianto of rifty action in her absence. Ianto ominously warns that the rift has been opening more and more.
Owen checks to make sure he doesn't have stink breath from his nap and snarks about it not taking a genius to figure that kind of thing out. The thing about the rift that is, not his breath.
Ianto says that Tosh thinks her equations are forming a pattern, and...well, that basically means nothing to anybody except for Tosh so Ianto's going to call her up on the ear phone.
Owen wonders why the hell Ianto knows about Tosh's doings and he wasn't informed. Ianto reminds Owen that he was MIA for a while.
But Ianto can't reach Tosh, because she's in 1941, and horrified because her gadgets don't work.
For some reason Gwen is out driving around, so Ianto uses his secret bossing skills to order her over to the Ritz to check up on Jack and Tosh.
Back inside the Ritz...in 1941, Tosh is worried about being stuck there, but Jack reassures her. Besides, they've got the most capable trio of agents back at home working on it.
Jack tells her to look on the bright side, because 1941 is AWESOME!!! Yay!
I mean, Tosh now has an excuse not to go to her grandpa's rice tossing birthday extravaganza.
Tosh doesn't think that's a bright side. She may not be excited about old men throwing rice, but that's her family and her life and she'd rather be there.
Tosh is making a scene all up in this joint now, and she has no faith that Ianto, Owen and Gwen can figure things out without her latest readings.
Jack tells Tosh that they need to just try to blend in. Tosh also has no faith in her blending in abilities, what with her being Asian and all. Jack tells her not to worry, he has an overabundance of faith in himself to make up for it. No harm can come to her when she's with the Captain, after all.
Back at the hub, Owen has hacked into Tosh's files.
Owen spots Rift activity on the day Diane flew into the sky...So I guess we're going to revisit THAT again...maybe. Owen tells himself that he's got to let it go.
Ianto tries a little bonding with Owen here, as he notes that, yes, Owen was/is in love with Diane. I'm pretty sure he's well aware of how miserable it is for Owen now that she's gone.
Owen totally ignores that little olive branch though and suggests that maybe they can use Tosh's equations to open the rift and get Diane back. So much for letting go.
Ianto doesn't like that idea...because Jack would never allow it.
Owen ignores Ianto some more, which makes Ianto's eye twitch. He knows he's in for a long night, stuck in the hub with Owen already.
It's a party back in 1941!
And Tosh had gotten an admirer.
Jack tries to buy a drink, but they don't take debit cards in 1941.
Tosh's man pays the bartender and Jack thanks him.
Oh, but he has a condition...then he leers at Tosh.
He doesn't say anything, just drags Tosh away to the dance floor...which Jack thinks is highly amusing.
And this chica wants to know why "George" is dancing with a "Jap".
Gwen has arrived in the present day Ritz to search out Jack and Tosh. She finds no sign of them, but does hear the music, so she shouts after them.
Seems like Gwen's penetrating vocals can be heard all the way back in 1941
Meanwhile, Tosh is having the most awkward dance ever.
Jack, thankfully, notes her discomfort finally and tries to cut in.
George is having none of it. He wants to know if Jack would like to make something of it.
Jack offers to dance with George himself. Oh, No! Harkness just brought the gay! What's going to happen now?
Well, it leads to shoving, more shoving, and eventually a little fistfight. Awww, boys. Tosh is on the sidelines loudly reminding Jack that they're supposed to be fitting in...and I'm sure shouting that out loud is helping matters enormously.
In any case, this dude puts a stop to things before anybody breaks a nose. Hmmm, I wonder who he could be?
Dude apologizes for his man George's behavior.
And he commands George to apologize for himself. George doesn't want to...so he tries to make excuses. He was only dancing with Tosh after all.
"I think it was your fist in his face that he didn't like, not your foxtrot." <--quoted for posterity.
Well, that, and the fact that Jack finds his alliteration, like, totally cute.
So George apologizes with much heavy sighing.
and Jack's all, haha, you barely got me! It's all good, and then all the men chuckle awkwardly at each other.
Meanwhile, Tosh is there...and she finally gets an apology too.
Tosh accepts the apology and George makes the face.
Yay! American volunteers in Cardiff unite! They try to introduces themselves simultaneously, but that doesn't quite work out...so mysterious dude, you go first.
Well, let me introduce you to...Captain Jack Harkness.
WHAT?
And then Jack goes into shock.
And then Toshiko goes into shock.
And then Bilis takes a picture.
Back at the hub, Owen and Ianto are doing research on the Ritz dancehall.
The place is due to be demolished...Owen gives us a brief history and recap of the episode so far. He is impatient with Jack and Tosh, and wonders why it's taking them so long, while Ianto feels bad for all the poor soldiers who danced there and lost thier lives in the war.
But then something catches his eye.
There they are! In 1941! No wonder it's taking them so long!
Back in time, Bilis has inserted himself into the next picture, and Jack look like he's going to be sick.
Jack tries to make a hasty exit before things can get too messy, but this is Torchwood so that doesn't happen...real Jack really wants to know our Jack's name before he goes.
Jack gives his name as Captain James Harper.
Tosh is astounded because she doesn't know what the fuck is going on...
Jack wants to buy Jack a drink, and this is going to get really confusing really fast. Let's just call Real Jack: Jack #1, and our Jack: Jack #2 when they're together, shall we?
Anyway, Jack #2 begs off with Toshiko as fast as he can.
Tosh would like to know why some other guy has his name, but Jack doesn't really want to answer that question, ever. Right now he doesn't really have a choice though.
Jack explains that he's the one who was stealing identities, not Jack #1.
Tosh is astounded, because her Jack is not the Jack she thought she knew. Which, by the way, also makes no sense because it's 1941, and Jack doesn't look that old.
Not surprisingly Jack does not want to talk about this little developement at all, so he tries to deflect Tosh's inquiry by gushing about how hot Jack #1 is.
Tosh rolls her eyes and admonishes him for joking around, because now is not the time.
So, Jack calms down and tries something else, since his usual deflection tactic is not working, and just mysteriously tells Tosh that he knows too much instead.
Tosh isn't giving up that easily though. She thinks Jack should share.
Jack tells her that she wouldn't want him to. There's some scary things floating around in that back story of his I'm sure.
While Tosh is digesting that information, Jack quickly changes the subject back to getting themselves out of the mess that they're in, and he asks her what is on her laptop.
For some reason, Tosh has half the equations needed for...whatever they need to do...back at the hub, and the other half is in her laptop. All they have to do is get her half back to the 21st first century somehow.
So back in present times, Gwen has a brilliant idea. She has hypothesized that since she can hear music, maybe if she screams her ass off Tosh and Jack can hear her too! Well, maybe, but how is that going to help exactly?
Gwen is clearly distressed at the thought of life running Torchwood with out Tosh and Jack, but mostly Jack...so she screams for them, and then hears the music again.
This time Tosh can hear her, but Gwen's not there!
Unfortunately this doesn't really help at all, because Jack and Tosh just think they're hearing things. So much for that idea.
So what's going on with the boys? They're working in the dark, presumably channeling Tosh, so they can figure out all these wacky equations.
Owen wants to use the equations to open the rift. Ianto is all like, no!
Not only does he not approve because Jack would not approve...but they can't. They don't have the entire formula.
Owen does not believe this, of course. So he manhandles Ianto out of the way to look for himself. Ianto suggests the laptop...so Owen starts peeping around for that.
But Ianto knows Tosh doesn't go anywhere without it unlike some unobservant Doctors.
And Owen curses.
Back in '41, Jack and Tosh have stumbled up on Bilis' office. Tosh hopes that her laptop is functional.
Inconveniently the battery is running low, so Tosh has to speed write the equation down.
Tosh has a little trouble with the fountain pen!! Jack suggest not pressing so hard.
It becomes a two person effort as the low battery signal starts to flash.
All Tosh has to do now is get their exact coordinates so she can *blablablabla* something. Jack snoops around Bilis' desk.
Oh, My Gosh! Speak of the Devil!
Bilis would like to know who the hell they are, and Jack almost slips up and tells him his real fake name. His conning skills must be a tad rusty.
And then there's Tosh, the Mathematician, and Bilis, the Manager...Bilis would like to know why Jack isn't in full uniform by the way.
He's on leave! That's why.
Tosh spots a Polaroid Camera on Bilis' desk...which hasn't been invented yet, so there's the first sign that something fishy is going on.
Hmmmmm.
Oh, but two can play at that game. Billis notes Tosh's laptop.
The chime in Billis's grandfather clock sounds and Jack stares suspiciously at it while Tosh generically explains that her fancy "attache case" came from London.
Bilis creepily tells Tosh that she should go back to London, because "They" are coming for "us". Jack gives him a strained smile and ushers Tosh out the door without any more words.
And Bilis pulls out his file on Torchwood.
Back in current times, Gwen is having no luck with the locked doors, and finding Jack or Tosh. She runs into the caretaker of t he Ritz...the one and only Bilis Manger. What is he doing here in the future I wonder? Well, for the moment, he's here posing as the caretaker of th Ritz and to open up all the doors for Gwen.
We shall return to the past now where Tosh is fretting away about being the only Japanese person in Cardiff when Pearl Harbor happens. Jack reassures her that it doesn't happen till the end of the year, so it's all good.
Tosh is totally not reassured, and she relates a story about how her grandfather was persecuted in London during this time period. Understandably she is worried about her welfare should they happen to get stuck there forever.
And Jack promises to take care of her. Awwwww!
While Tosh seems to find this declaration as perplexing as everything else that's going on.
Tosh takes her mind off the prospect of being looked after Jack Harkness in 1941 by probing him for more information. She takes note of how easily he fits in there and wonders if he ever, per chance, has been there before.
Jack, I suppose, is past trying to hide his past at the moment and tells her that he has visited the 1940's before, and even served in the war. It is, however, too long of a story to tell all of it, so he'll just leave out the parts about how and why this was.
He will, however, mention that it was when he took Jack Harkness' name. Tosh is not through with him yet though. She wants to know who he was before that.
Jack doesn't even bother to answer that. He just stares down at Jack #1 and when Tosh asks why him? Jack #2's answer is that it was convenient. Tosh picks up on what this means for Jack #1 and wants to know when exactly it happens.
Turns out He will die in battle tomorrow. This is the real Captain Jack Harkness' last night on earth.
Meanwhile, George is telling stories about trying to get a girl into a bomb shelter, but she won't go because there are rats. The guys think this is hilarious, but Tosh interrupts them looking for their best navigator.
It's the adorable one, Tim! Everyone is appreciative that it doesn't happen to be George.
George makes fun of his flying skills, but for a navigator, he can't be beat. He smiles shyly at Tosh and she whisks him away to do "calculations", and by "calculations" I mean...yeah, actual math.
George gives him Two-Weeks...
Jack #2 just stares off into space during this whole exchange, until Jack #1 tells him that he's glad he came over and then offers him a seat somewhere off camera.
We don't get to see what those two are getting up to at the moment because it's back to Bilis and Gwen at the present day dance hall.
Bilis wonders why Gwen's buddies were hanging out in creepy old abandoned buildings. Gwen says it was on a dare!! Because full grown adult people are always daring each other to brave the dangers of creepy abandoned supposedly haunted buildings... Awww, we all know Gwen is still a teenager at heart, this explanation probably sounds totally reasonable in her mind.
Bilis just creepily stands there and ponders over her worriedness, then offers up some tea.
Back in the '40s, Tim is reading out info from his navigational diary and Tosh is furiously scribbling down notations.
Tim hopes to impress Tosh with his mad navigational skills. He writes down the exact location of the sunrise every morning, and tries to be self depreciating about it by declaring it silly.
Tosh tells him that's just great, but secretly she does not care.
Tim smiles like a schoolboy some more. I see Jack in the background!
There he is! Having a drink with George and Jack #1. George is wondering about all the "Action" that Jack has seen.
Jack #2 plays it off mysteriously. "The enemy comes in many guises," says the wise one.
Jack #1 gives him an appraising look.
George wants his captain to brag about how many kills he has. Clearly this Jack does not like to talk about his past either.
Jack #2 totally understands why he doesn't want to talk about this, but George is an idiot so he goes ahead and brags for him.
He says the Captain hasn't lost a man yet, and the Captain looks like he would like to disappear right about now.
I know! Let's Change the subject! That's the ticket! Jack #1 asks if #2 would like another drink.
Water??? Alrighty, then.
On the way to the bar Jack #1 gets a visitor. She knows he's having a boys night, but is going to barge in on it anyway.
Jack #2 looks on.
And #1 can't exactly say no to the woman, because that would make him seem like kind of a dick, so it's off to the bar with them.
Bilis asks if anybody is expecting Gwen anywhere else that day, and she smartly tells him that yes, yes she is expected elsewhere. He advises Gwen to phone home.
SO she does. Let's see what the boys are up to shall we?
Owen is giving Ianto the stare down through the glass as he tells Gwen that they haven't found any further evidence of Jack and Tosh stuck in time. Owen helpfully postulates that they got blown to smithereens during the blitz. Thanks for that, Owen.
Ianto tells her about the Manager at the time, one Bilis Manger.
Close up on Bilis' nameplate! What a coincidence...Bilis Manger then and Bilis Manger NOW? What could it all mean?
Ianto thinks there's no way it cold be the same guy, and Gwen seems to agree...even though they work on a rift in time and space and their boss and co-worker are currently trapped in the forties. That Bilis could time travel is totally not possible.
Oh, but wait! The cogs in Gwen's brain are working and she thinks that Bilis does look a bit odd. He does wear a cravat after all.
Oh, shit!
So nice of you to join us, Owen, now that things have gotten interesting. Owen commands Gwen to get to the bottom of these shenanigans!!!
Ianto commands her to get the hell out of there and wait for backup!!
Ooo, who is she going to listen to??
Owen thinks the intel Bilis might have is worth the risk. They can't let him get away! Ianto does not want to risk losing another team member.
Ianto thinks it may be a trap. Gwen is back at the Ritz wondering what in the hell has gotten into those boys.
This is a picture of Ianto reasonably explaining his theory that this is all a big trap to suck them all back into time, and we know how well team Torchwood deals with blatant traps. He again orders Gwen out of the Ritz.
And Owen wants to know who died and made Ianto boss anyway.
Ianto doesn't need to answer this question, because...damn. That is one hell of a "Don't mess with me" glare.
Gwen decides that she's going to listen to Ianto.
Tosh has her equations all figured out. Now all she needs is a way to preserve them across time.
Jack leaves her side for about one second and she's accosted by the queen bitch of the ball, who is going to call her out in front of the entire room.
She asks Jack if Tosh is with him, but before he can decide on the proper answer, George buts in and tells everybody that she's been making the moves on Tim, why else would she want to hear about his diary? Hey! Leave Tosh and Tim alone while we still...Okay, we never liked you, George. Go away!
Queen B wants to know if Tosh is a spy, and this dude helpfully reminds us that the Chinese are allies...maybe. He doesn't know for sure.
Tosh points out that she's Japanese actually, which isn't going to do anything to get Queen B off her back.
But even George thinks the B is out of line, and that's saying something.
Tosh has no idea how to react to this blatant racism.
B wants to know what's in the bag and makes a grab for it.
All this talking has given Jack #2 time to think up a reasonable cover story. Tosh has been decoding Top secret messages that have been intercepted.
Jack #1 arrives with the water, and duly defends Tosh's honor also.
He offers her a toast!
Meanwhile, Tosh has decided that Bilis' Polaroid is the best bet for her scribblings to make it back to the 21st.
Jack #2 wants to know if he should go with Tosh, but the good Captain wants him to stay. He did just buy him a drink after all. Tosh's face is hilarious in this one by the way.
And in this one too. Haha! She finally tells Jack #2 that she'll be okay on her own.
So they toast to each other.
Cheers!
So what brings you to Cardiff asks Jack #2 and so begins the small talk.
Oh, my gosh, lady. Go away! Well, she asks to join them, and thus endeth the small talk.
And Tosh is upstairs taking the picture.
Bilis catches her at it. She makes the excuse that she just had to try it his fancy pants camera.
Creepy Bilis, creepy! He calls Tosh beautiful and rare.
And yes, Tosh is pretty skeeved by that.
Awww, C'mon. Bilis is just messing with her mind now as he holds the original equation, which she left on her desk, just out of reach.
She snatches it back and runs away from his creepy ass.
Just throw your head back and laugh maniacally, Bilis. You know you want to.
Back at the ranch, Owen is angry with Ianto bossing people around with reasonable plans of action, and is now fucking around with the rift manipulator. Ianto cannot believe this shit.
He would like to know what the hell Owen is doing exactly.
Owen is not listening to Ianto right now, or ever if he can help it, so Ianto has to get down to his level in hopes of getting the man to listen to him.
Owen's all, 'fuck the missing numbers! I'm opening this rift all up in this joint'
Ianto, again tries reason. The cost benefit analysis has shown that the cost may very well far outweigh the benefit after all.
Owen does not care. He's going to open that bad boy up and get the Captain back. It's their duty after all.
So, what about that, Ianto?
Gwen is just about to hightail it out of there when she hears the unmistakable tone of Jack's laughter. Still, nobody is there despite her shouting.
Back at the hub, Ianto is still trying to win Owen over to his side of thinking.
Owen does not care. He has stopped speaking to Ianto and has his mind set on getting the rift manipulator to work.
Ianto theorizes that this whole business isn't about rescuing their comrades from time, but rather, getting Diane back. He wants to know when Owen's going to get over it. She chose to leave him. Well, that certainly got Owen's attention.
Oh, yeah? So what about that Cyberchick you kept locked in the basement, then? How about them apples?
Okay, so women have driven you both to madness, and you thought you had nothing in common! Can we please all chill out now and have a cup of tea and work together to come up with a reasonable plan that will not require the possible destruction of the entire world? No? Okay, then.
In any case, Ianto thinks his situation was totally different.
Owen agrees, because Diane didn't try to kill everybody. Also she was human. Take that, Ianto!
Ianto tells him to stop. I guessing this is kind of a sore spot for him.
Stop? While he's got you on the ropes? Nah. He calls Lisa a "Screwed up metal monster" instead.
Now Ianto feels like he has to defend his own actions from way back in episode 4. He admits that he was suffering under the delusion that the Cyberman was still Lisa underneath all that metal. He loved her then, he loves her now, and he will probably always love her forever no matter how long she's been gone.
Owen does not care. In fact Ianto gets no reaction at all.
And this pisses Ianto off, so now he's going to push Owen's buttons and remind him that he only knew Diane for a week.
Wasn't long enough. Owen sneers.
Ianto gets an armful of wires thrown at him whilst Owen is determined to open the rift still. He seems to think the rift manipulator will just fill in the missing figures on its own.
Ianto has run out of ways to try and convince Owen that this is a crappy idea.
Well, it doesn't work, and Ianto is relieved. He reminds Owen that Jack wouldn't want them to do it anyway.
Oh, but there is a piece missing. Owen hasn't given up yet.
Ianto grabs hold of his arm as he passes, and tries to order Owen home for some much needed rest.
Owen of course is going to sneer at Ianto again, and remind him that he's still the low man on the totem pole and can't tell a doctor what to do.
Ianto just stares at him wordlessly, and with the power of puppy dog eyes somehow convinces Owen to do it his way and wait to figure out the equations.
But not before calling Ianto safe and boring.
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